anyhting goes

2007-11-20T22:13:00.001+08:00

my hair!

2006-09-30T22:11:00.000+08:00

Im trimming my hair in this style no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need some shut eye!

2006-09-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

just wanting to chill

2006-09-13T17:57:00.000+08:00

There is something about having everything you think you'll ever need sitting in the seat next to you....

Hmm... just a thought

2006-06-26T17:20:00.000+08:00

I seriously thought it was people who actually read and went over the whole blog, but now I'm not so sure. It seems there are people who leave comments with links to their sites, or advertisement. I can't say any of those are for no reason at all, since it is apparent that they're all out to advertise themselves. I can't decide if it's a sad thing or just annoying in general. Oh well... back to work for now...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

2005-12-25T02:47:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS mga friends!!!!! :)

May God grant you your Christmas wishes! Take care and God bless!!!!

Crazy stuff i want to do before leaving this earth!

2005-12-16T20:55:00.000+08:00

1. watch a franz ferdinand concert! i have been an avid (more of rabid, actually) fan of this super cool band from Scotland, who seemed to have raided my dad's closet..... hopefully, i could watch them live in this lifetime
2. bungee jump from a bridge in new zealand.... what can i say? i think i'm meant to be adventurous, i just can't channel it out!
3. learn how to play the guitar..... and then, form a band.... i can't let go of my "the weird sisters" fantasies
4. live in aix-en-provence for a whole spring AND summer.... and then go to paris the next summer, and then italy, and then scotland....
5. learn furoshiki (japanese art of napkin folding).... plain weird....
6. get my own place, design it (esp the bathroom!) and then move in.... most probably in provence.... hey, can someone throw in a golden retreiver puppy?
7. go to Kings Cross station, find platform nine and ten, and then find the three-quarter and then get a picture.... Hogwarts, here I come!
8. sperm-nap "someone-would-rather-go-unnamed-or-i'll-be-in-deep-trouble".... i'm just plain weird...... just some wild idea i had..... hehehehe....
9. learn everything French! *wink wink* the french language, for those filthy little minds out there....
10. own a vineyard! another of those super weird fantasies..... ^_^

31 things about moi....

2005-11-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

1.YOUR HOROSCOPE?
:libra

2. SiNGLE OR TaKen?
single... but very much taken.... very much taken with my dreams

3. iN LoVe?
in love with love

4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SERIOUSLY HURT
BY THE PERSONYOU LOVED
tons of times

5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REASON iF YOU
TURNED SUICIDAL?
if i could not watch a franz ferdinand concert

6. iS SUiCiDE REALLY KiLLiNG YOURSELF?
ending your life.....

7. COUNTRY OR CLASSic?
classic

8. PREFER CUTE/iDiOT OR SMART/UGLY?
smart/ugly...

9. ARE YOU iN A STABLE RELATiONSHiP WiTH
YOUR BF/GF?
nope....

10. YOU`D EXPECT A TEXT MESSAGE
USUALLY FROM
my mom, asking me when will i get home..

11. HAVE A BEST FRiEND THAT iS iNTHE
OPPOSiTE GENDER?
yep.... but he's in miami na...

12. WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHENYOUR
DEPRESSED
drink huge huge cups of chai latte...

13. CHEERFUL OR BORiNG
cheerful

14. DESCRiBE A PERFECT DATE?
in a harry potter inspired costume party.... hahahaha! nah.... a walk by the beach during sunset.... kahit baywalk, ok na ako...

15. EVER WONDERED WHY NOBODY KNOWS
WHY THE SKY iS BLUE?
actually the sky seems blue because of the refractory effect of the light passes through our atmosphere from the sun... blah blah blah.... just ask the people from discovery channel.... or sineskwela..

16. EVER BEEN HURT BY LOVE?
of course..... love is a like a coin... it has two sides.... the good, giddy side and the side that will hurt you the most... naks... pwede pang quotes sa text!

17. WiLL YOU EVER MAKE THE SAMEMiSTAKE
AGAiN?
nope.... nah-ah...

18. EVER HATED ANYONE LiKE HeLL???
YES....

19. WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN A PERSON
BREAKS UP WiTH YOU AFTER ONEDAY?
i would say thank you for sharing with me one day filled with love, and then slap him hard on the face...

20. GiVE ONE WORD THAT BEST DESCRiBES
WHAT YOU`RE FEELiNG NOw?
bewildered

21. DO YOU BELiEVE iN YOURSELF?
give me a cup of chai latte, and then i will....

22. EVER PHYSiCALLY HURT YOURSELF?
yep... took a leaf outta Peachy's book --- opinch myself with my ID clip to wake myself up....

23. EVER VERBALLY HURT YOURSELF?
yes.... everyday

24. MOTTO iN LiFE
there's still hope.... by arwen.... my elven counterpart

25.WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE
to fulfill my parents' dream and to also fulfill my dreams... --- to travel the world and help people

26. HAVE YOU EVER HAD FEELiNGS ABOUT A
FRiEND FROM THE OPPOSiTE GENDER?
yep....

7. iF YES, WHAT DiD YOU DO
got obsessed with him, i guess....

28. iS FAME & MONEY THE MOST iMPORTANT
THiNGS iNYOUR LiFE?
money will make a huge huge difference but it will not buy you happiness

29. DO YOU MAKE
ANY MOVEMENTS OR SOUNDS WHEN YOU`RE
SLEEPiNG?
malikot ako matulog and sometimes i sleeptalk...

30. ARE YOU DiFFiCULT TO WAKE UP?
no, but if you woke me up sa kasarapan ng tulog ko, hell hath no fury....

31. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SLEEP?
every night???

worse than the cruciatus curse

2005-11-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

i know discussing beauty regimen issues are a tad weird but i would like to share an unforgettable experience during my quest for finding a remedy for my legs....
so, i tried the veet cream but it only lasted for a week. i was a bit more desperate so i tried waxing.... OUCH! is an understatemnt to what i have gone through...
it could be a perfect torture device.... put a man's very hairy leg, apply the hot wax, put the strip, rub it quickly a few times and then yank it off..... ouch really is an understatement.... so that's what the cruciatus curse feels like.... actually, it was like a thousand cruciatus curses cast on me all at the same time....
but the good side is... i can wear shorts and skirts whenever i wanted to!

C'est magnifique!

2005-10-22T21:47:00.000+08:00

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.
You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

hooked on french

2005-10-22T21:43:00.000+08:00

Your French Name is:

Agnès Vignaux

What's Your French Name?

Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy.
Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems.

You would make an excellent:

Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian
Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer
Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher

The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

really now???

2005-10-22T21:38:00.000+08:00

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Hmmm..... U think?

2005-10-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.
But you may be ready in a couple of years.
You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.
And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Ginaya ko lang si peachy.....

2005-10-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Machiko Kato

What's your Japanese Name?

this is so true...

2005-10-22T21:25:00.000+08:00

Your #1 Match: INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's Your Personality Type?

pensive mood...

2005-10-22T21:23:00.000+08:00

I feel so sad and disappointed at some people I thought I knew. Let's take Giselle (I changed her name for privacy purposes) for example. She was my best friend since grade school. I thought it was like the we're-gonna-be-friends-forever-no-matter-what-just-like-in-movies-and-novels kind of frinedship, but our friendship slowly withered when we reached high school. More of like she was going places and I was stuck in my own little private agoraphobic-but-claustrophobic, jock-hating world. She had tons of new friends, I was stuck with the bottom feeders and people from the "other party"; she was on the other side of all of what became my world. She was nice, friendly and we still talked a bit, but not like when we were still a quartet or even close friends during our freshman year in high school. I hardly got over the fact that she, of all people, became close to the guy who trampled on my high school sociaal life, blew my self-esteem into smithereens, and almost wrecked my psychological make-up. Giselle never texted my back nor corresponded to my e-mail, and I just knew, our friendship was all gone. It went down the drain just like that. Some part of me wants to hunt her down and ask for the reason why we didn't end up like what we promised back then; another part of me just wants to let it go, just pray for her happiness, whereever she maybe or how far she might reach. I guess our friendship ended in that fateful day, when , instead of saying humiliated and looked down on, I would say I was changed and tested by God. Maybe it is His will that Giselle and I parted ways. Maybe it's just the way it is...

My Jap name...sugoi!

2005-09-23T03:32:00.000+08:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Yuki Hayashi

What's" your Japanese Name?

Me...try niyo rin...la lang

2005-09-23T03:29:00.000+08:00

Your #1 Match: ISFP

The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #2 Match: ISFJ

The Nurturer
You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

What's" Your Personality Type?

www.loveguru.com

2005-07-07T16:37:00.000+08:00

I'm posting it here... and anyone who feels like commenting, please do so, although I would prefer if you visit my page: www.fictionpress.com and post your reviews on the story itself for everyone to see^^

The moon struggled against the clouds to cast its feeble light on the wet pavement left by the heavy rain of the afternoon. She sat by the window, gazing heavenward with her own internal struggle against the dark cloud called despair.

She glanced inside and her eyes fell on the still phone. Should I? she asked herself as she stood slowly, contemplating, her mind in chaos.

Without thinking, she walked over and reached out with her hand to pick up the receiver. Mesmerized, she watched as her fingers punched in the numbers she had memorized to heart.

“Hello?”

A voice, very much loved, had startled her out of her stupor and she found herself on the other end of what might turn out to be a conversation. A conversation, that could be remembered, that would fix all, if she managed to utter even a single word between lips that had gone dry.

“Hello?”

The voice had started to become annoyed.

Her mind raced, trying to come up with a plausible excuse for the unexpected call.

She heard him sighed out his irritation.

“He… he… hello?” she finally forced the words painfully out of her throat, sounding like a child lost in a strange place.

“Hello? Who’s this?” he asked, his tone completely changing from antagonizing to concern and curiosity with just her single word.

Her heart pounding, she forced her voice to remain calm, or as calm as she could make it under the circumstances. “Um… hi. This is Sheila. May I talk to…” she faltered a little, “… to Jake?” by now, she was trembling like a leaf. Her knees had gone slack that she had to lower herself on the bed.

“Oh Sheila. What’s up?”

Chapter 1

I pushed myself away from the monitor and leaned back in my favorite swivel chair, with my hands behind my head. Even the scene below my window could not inspire me out of the writer’s block I’d stumbled upon this past month, ever since Allen left me for another girl.

One thing I could say for sure was that I didn’t cry much. It made me wonder if I truly loved him or I just fell in love with the thought of someone as perfect as him being my boyfriend. I couldn’t even pretend that he’s my inspiration for getting back into writing, because that would definitely be a lie.

For fourteen months, fourteen long months I’d thought he might be ‘the one’. Allen Arenas or AA had been my life that his leaving numbed me too much that I was beyond tears, or so my best friend kept telling me.

But it does make one wonder sometimes, if it was love or just mutual attraction bounding you to each other.

Sighing, I shook my head and pulled myself back to my desk. I closed the story I was working on for two whole hours and connected to the internet.

I felt totally clueless on how Sheila would respond to that greeting since I didn’t know myself how I would answer if the one on the other end just happened to be Allen.

I blinked and turned my attention back to the monitor as my homepage swam into focus. Logging in revealed I have ten new e-mails despite the fact that I’d been checking every hour, therefore adding to my lack of concentration on my story. I opened it and read the topmost e-mail, reverting to my alter-ego, the Love Guru.

Dear Love Guru,

Hi. I’m Monica and I’m 17 years old. I’ve been going steady with my boy for some time now and lately, he’s been hinting that he wants us to go all the way. What should I do?

Monica

I frowned in thought for awhile before pulling my keyboard closer to me and typing a response.

Dear Monica,

Doing it “all the way” depends on you. Are you ready for it? Are you aware of the consequences? Does it feel right to you? If you’re going to do it, are you planning to take precautionary measures, like pills or condoms before doing the deed?

These are just some of the questions we must all ask ourselves before saying yes to the word sex. A lot of people had asked me similar questions before, and my answer remained the same: when the time is right. A lot had written back and asking how do I define the right time. I think the right time is very subjective and it plays a major role in your psychological view of yourself after doing the deed. Would you feel regretful? Disappointed? Relieved? Or fulfilled?

Here’s a simple exercise that might help you think and reflect, although there’s no guarantee of it helping you make up your mind. Imagine that you’ve already done it, and you’re on the way home, what do you think you’d be feeling around this time? A lot had said that you would feel a certain glow of happiness; theoretically, this might be just what you’re feeling right at the moment. You felt like this the rest of the day and you went to bed feeling that this was the happiest day of your life. When you wake up in the morning and had time to relive the events of yesterday, how do you think you’d feel? Would you still feel happy? Or would you regret your decision? Or feel as if nothing eventful took place?

I do hope this would help you out.

Yours,

Love Guru

Never in my wildest dreams did I though that my one-time whim would… well, click. It was nothing more than my first attempt at building a website that I was so surprised when I checked one time out of habit to find three e-mails from people asking me for advice! Me, who was made to believe that I don’t give any sensible advice by my sister, was asked for advice concerning love.

The first three e-mails became five, then seven, eleven, until floods of e-mail started arriving that I had to open them daily, hourly, until every few minutes, and although my website still looks shabby and in need of a makeover, more and more people started sending me an e-mail. It was very flattering.

This unofficial job of mine was what saved me from the first few days that my current status as single started to sink in. Reading and replying to others who’re experiencing situations much worse than mine prompted me back on my feet. There was one particular e-mail that struck and frightened me that it took me some time to formulate a response.

Dear Love Guru,

I’m at my wit’s end. My boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago and I just found out that I’m 4 weeks pregnant! I can’t have a baby because my school doesn’t accept single mothers. My family doesn’t know about my condition and I’m too scared to ask my friends for advice. My ex-boyfriend wouldn’t even answer his phone and he never texted me back. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I’m thinking of killing myself. Please help me.

Desperate Soon-to-be Mom

Dear Desperate Soon-to-be Mom,

First of all, don’t panic. Take deep breaths and carefully weigh your options. Committing suicide is, of course, out of the question. As for school, do you think you could transfer to another school that’s not too strict? I also think that letting your friends, at least your most trusted; know the truth would lighten up your load a little. These are just the easy parts.

Setting that aside, the major problems would be telling your parents, letting your boyfriend know, and figuring out how to juggle your schoolwork and motherhood, but the thing you should focus on the moment is letting your parents know.

It’s never easy and there are no written guidelines that would serve as your guide in dropping the big ‘P’ bombshell. Even imagining what their reactions might be wouldn’t be of much help because they could do much worse in reality. But then again, some parents would be very supportive after the initial shock had worn off. I’m hoping for your sake that your parents are like that because it would be much better for you.

I could also suggest that you take time to reflect how you would feel if you’re the mother and your daughter came home pregnant. At least that would help you understand what your mother would go through if you told her. I do hope I got you thinking about things first before resorting to suicide. Please let me know how it went. If there’s no one out there to help you, rely on me then, I’ll help you get through this.

Yours,

Love Guru

Chapter 2

I flopped heavily on my bed as soon as I got home. I just had the unfortunate luck to find a job that pays well, but made night, day and day, night.

I flipped to my side and chanced a glance at my bedside clock. The hands had just announced that I had been on my feet for twenty hours straight.

With a sigh, I forced myself up from my bed and headed for the bathroom, along with a change of clothes.

My one-room condominium unit looked cramped despite the fact that it contains practically nothing saves for the plant I got from my neighbor who moved away just last month. She said that her daughter had petitioned for her in the States and she’s leaving to be with her family and grandkids. There’s also this really comfy couch I got on a garage sale. On the kitchen, there’s this portable fridge and a microwave my mom left me when the majority of my family migrated to New York.

But there must be something wrong with my place. I was planning to read some books on Feng Shui, but since I’m so tired most days, I haven’t found the time just yet.

I yawned and was nearly to the door of the bathroom when someone rang my doorbell. Suppressing another yawn and slight irritation, I detoured for the front door.

It was Janie, my best friend.

As soon as I got the door opened, the sudden sound of five voices echoing a single sentiment completely caught me off-guard, starting a pounding somewhere behind my temple.

“Happy Birthday!!!”

They all hurtled toward me with their arms laden with stuffs that I had no choice but to back away from the door, with my hand holding my aching head.

“What’s with all these stuffs?” I managed to croak out through my parched throat when they finished piling everything they brought in. It resembled like a four feet Christmas tree to me.

“Well, let’s see, I managed to book the rooftop for a party tonight and we did the shopping.” Janie said animatedly, kneeling near the pile and pulling out a plastic filled with party paraphernalia.

“Eh?” I asked, rooted to the spot. I was trying to figure out what day it was today.

“Oh please, I told you she’d forget her own birthday.” Ava said exasperatedly as she took care of assembling the paper plates and cups on the floor.

“Ah… what’s day is it today anyway?” I asked, regaining the full use of my body. I clutched my clothes a little more securely against my chest and closed the door.

“It’s the twenty-fifth of May silly. Now go and do what you were about to do and we’ll handle everything here.” Bea shooed me to the bathroom, rooting through another plastic for whatever was in there.

I turned and headed for the bathroom, as I originally intended. They’re right. Today, I turn twenty-four, a year older, and hopefully, a year smarter.

I emerged out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed and languorously tired, only to find that my living room had been turned into a war zone. Plastics had been scattered everywhere spilling party paraphernalia on every available space that was not occupied by a body.

“How many do we need again? I forgot.” Mary-Beth asked sheepishly, counting plastic cups on the corner next to my front door.

“About 200-300. Whatever just pile them up somewhere. If we lack anything, it’s their problem, not ours.” Hannah replied from across the room, near the palm tree I kept next to the sofa, busily rooting through the plastics of finger foods.

“Um, guys? How do I get to my room?” I asked tentatively, trying to see if there’s a route I can take to get myself to my bedroom on the other side. Somehow, my condo seemed bigger than it always used to be all of a sudden.

As a whole, they all looked up at me then on the room. Feeling embarrassed, they all scrambled up trying to make room for me. They ended up falling all over the things scattered at their feet, producing an even bigger mess when Hannah accidentally stepped on one of the food packages and it burst open, scattering sour-cream chips all over everything within a meter of her.

Sighing, I asked them to settle down and managed to make my way through the center, by way of piling everything in my path either on the left or the right, all the while thinking that this must be what it feels like plowing through snow drifts.

After a while, I managed to end up on my bedroom door. With a last glance at the hurricane zone, I closed my door and fell asleep right away; briefly hoping I get a chance to go through my e-mails.

A knock woke me up from my dreamless slumber and a head popped in the door as my still-groggy mind tried to recognize it.

“It’s about time to wake up sleepy-head. You’ve slept through lunch already, so don’t sleep through dinner as well.” Janie said cheerfully, popping back out of my door.

I turned to my bedside table, surprised that it’s already five in the afternoon. Like cold water, the time jerked me awake more effectively than Janie ever can. Quickly, I got out of bed, sloppily made it and rushed through my clothes. I think to myself that I need to do laundry soon as I pulled out hangers off the beam. I finally settled on my navy-blue knitted top and well-worn denims paired with my serviceable step-ins.

As much as I hate being put on the spot, I couldn’t afford to look horrendous tonight. Besides, if I need to leave the party early because of work, I’ll be sure leave the guest with quite an impression of who I grew up to be. It’s not everyday a girl turns twenty-four, living alone and having the whole world learned that her boyfriend dumped her.

I hurried out of the room, make-up bag and clothes in hand, and headed for the bathroom, distractedly noting that the mess in my living/dining room had been cleared up during my sleep. As soon as I reached the door, it was locked. I frowned and stare at it.

“Hey, what are you doing out there?” Janie asked.

I turned and found her sitting on the sofa with her make-up kit popped open in front of her. I went over to the sofa and sat down next to her. “Who’s in there?”

“Aya. She said she’s going to take a bath first before going to the party.” She replied, adding some sheer glittery eye shadow to one of her eyes.

“How long is she going to be in there? I can’t afford to not take a bath. I don’t want to give them reason to pity me because AA left me.” I blurted out and sat next to her with a sigh.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’re here and we’re going to make sure you rock tonight.” She chanced a wink at me and proceeded to apply mascara. For the life of me, I never could apply mascara without poking my eye, or smearing some on my lid.

After a while, the bathroom door opened and out came Aya, as gorgeous as always. “Sorry about using your bathroom without permission, I couldn’t wait for you to wake up and I looked like a mess after sorting out party stuff. I just have to have a bath. Hope you don’t mind.” Aya said, pulling one of her cute pleading faces that get guys to do her favors.

With a defeated sigh, “What else can I do? You’ve already done it. Now it’s my turn to take a bath.” Standing up, I made my way for the bathroom when Hannah came in strolling for my fridge.

“Hi. It’s about time you wake up. I’m telling you, you should change jobs. It’s not healthy you know.” She had been keeping this litany for the past few years since I started working on that call center.

“Hey!”

With a start, I glanced back at her. Hannah had my fridge open and was taking out junk foods. She turned to me with an accusing stare. I should have known she’d found out eventually. She’s such a health buff that she monitors my food whenever she’d come over to make sure I eat right.

Quickly, I closed the door, suppressing a giggle at her furious face. Tonight, I have to feel good about myself.

Chapter 3

I settled on the east side of the building rooftop and sipped my drink slowly. They had surely pulled a quick one on me. The place was packed with people, some I knew way back from high school, others whom I met as their friends and still others I had never seen in my whole life.

Janie told me that she had made the call to my boss last night and asked that I be given the night off, since I hardly ever use any of my night off, when I tried to sneak away around eleven. It turned out that they all knew that I wouldn’t be coming in to work today, except me.

I made another sweep of the room and noticed that some of the guys here were either grouped together or mingling along with the girls I’m pretty sure who’re still single. And I had a sudden intuition that this might not be only a party. If my hunch is right, they were setting me up to meet and date other guys.

“So there you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” Janie exclaimed, having extracted herself from a crowd to my left.

“Hey, just got on question, how many did you seriously invite to this shindig? I couldn’t even remember ever meeting half the people here.” I said a little sarcastically, I still hadn’t forgotten that they left me in the dark.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re still mad? It was supposed to be a surprise.” She whined. “Please forgive me. I only did it cause I thought that you’d be happy to get some rest.”

I let her plead her case for awhile, knowing that she could get as dramatic as Aya on her slightly mellow days. “Okay, I forgive you. But seriously, how many did you invite? And who are these people?” I asked, my voice bordering on disbelief.

“I’m glad you ask. Well, the gang and I thought that this party might be a good chance for you to mingle and meet someone new. See, we asked our friends to bring along guys they knew who’re single and in search for a relationship.” She began excitedly, her whole face lighting up like a child on Christmas Day.

I allowed her to blabber on, knowing that when she’s on a roll, there’s no stopping her. Instead, I glanced at the crowd with new interest, noting that a lot of the guys out there were either introducing themselves or being introduce to other guests. It would have been quite a nice party if I wasn’t feeling uncomfortable, as I usually do at parties like this.

Lost in thought, I didn’t notice the approach of a man along with Mary Beth. She had to nudge me twice to get me to look at her.

“Where were you off to in that mind of yours?” Mary Beth teased. She knew I would space out at times when I don’t feel part of the crowd.

“Oh sorry, was just thinking of something about work. What’s up?” I began a little sheepishly.

“I want you to meet my boss, Mr. Zack Ortega.” She ushered him forward.

I was quite stunned to say the least. He towered over my five-foot-five height, and I’m not used to feeling like that. I forced myself to remain calm and extended my hand in all politeness. “Hello, it was very nice to meet you. I’m Julia Lang, I hope you’re enjoying the party.” I said formally, settling for a social smile.

He grasped my hand firmly, yet a little loosely. I studied his hand a little, for I found it unsettling to stare up at those huge brown eyes that twinkle devilishly. His hand looked quite ordinary to me except they’re big. It covered my whole palm and that was another thing I’m not used to. His fingers weren’t over-long, but long enough to give me the shivers, though I have no idea why, and his nails were well-groomed. His palms were surprisingly smooth, hardly a callous present anywhere, as he held my suddenly small hand a little longer than I thought was polite.

“The pleasures all mine.” He said huskily.

Startled, I glanced up and found that he had leaned a little too close for comfort. If his eyes startled me before, his whole face up close took my breath away. He was handsome and he knows it. Just from the way he handled himself, it was obvious he knew how girls reacted to his presence and he loved it.

His scent made me a little heady and I longed to turn my head away and pinched my nose. His eyes were laughing at me as he must have realized that he throws me off balance like all the other girls. He gave my hand a slight squeeze and I’m not sure if it was just my imagination or he was leaning towards me further still.

I extracted my hand as politely as I could and took a step back from him. “Well, I do hope you’ll enjoy the party. But I have to go.” I flashed a sweet plastic smile and turned away, trying to walk on unsteady feet towards the door leading to the elevator banks.

Chapter 4

I got to my condo unit around midnight and headed straight for my room. I launched myself on my bed and stayed there for awhile berating myself for the stupid stunt I pulled against that guy. I didn’t even check if Mary Beth was still around when it happened. That was so unlike me. I never get that short tempered, nor affected by guys before until now. It’s very scary and confusing.

I turned my head to the side and checked my bedside clock. It’s nearly one in the morning. I turned around again until I’m lying down on my back facing the ceiling. Today, I’m twenty four and a day old. Nothing much changed except the addition of confusion thrown into my life.

I chanced a glance of my computer, staring eyeless at me, as if begging to be turned on. I stared at it, contemplating if I should or shouldn’t. It’s the middle of the night, but then again, the party seems to be still in full swing, not to mention that I’m not used to going to bed at this hour.

Throwing caution to the wind, I got up and padded in my party clothes, now a little rumpled and slept in, toward my computer. Turning it on and sitting on the swivel chair made me feel much more in control once again.

I quickly log on to my web page and found the usual number of e-mails. Methodically, I began reading and answering them. There was one from a guy who found out that his girlfriend cheated on him, another from a girl in an abusive relationship, also one from a married mother having an extramarital affair. I answered them as best as I could, knowing that they rely on me for answers that I’m not confident I could give them. I could only impart whatever knowledge and wisdom I have in store.

I was working on the next e-mail when I heard someone entering my door. It just occurred to me that I did invite people to use my bathroom when they need to go. I had locked the doors behind me out of habit so I got up from my comfort zone, and went out of my room to open the door.

To my dismay, it was the big hulking guy I met at the party. And this time, he had a girl with him, and it’s not Mary Beth. It was Amy, the high school flirt. Judging from the way she dressed and clung to his arm, she definitely hadn’t changed her ways.

“Nice party, Julie, so why aren’t you out there having fun? It’s not exactly polite for the host to leave before the guest.” She purred, hanging on to his arm, rubbing her low neckline for better visibility against his unsurprisingly expensive attire.

“Well, I’m not the host, just the guest of honor, Amy. And as far as I could remember, when the guest of honor leaves the party, it signals the end of partying, meaning it’s time for the clean-up crew to get started and the guests to leave. But seeing that you’re still here, it means that the party hadn’t noticed that its guest had decided to depart from the enjoyment.” I said sarcastically, further thwarting her with a saccharine smile. She couldn’t stand me, neither could I stand her. I hid a smile when she scowled at my words. She may be pretty and cute and sexy and everything, but one thing she’s not, she’s not smart.

I turned to the towering figure before me and tilted my head back a bit to look him in the face. I felt very lucky that I had leaned on the doorjamb because his impact was twice more, when the shadow of a beard had emphasized his strong, square jaw more. I fought to keep my voice steady and casual, as he perused my bedraggled look, “So we meet again mister…” I deliberately trailed off.

“Ortega. Zack Ortega, miss…”

So he’s playing along, isn’t he? “Lang. Julie Lang. What brings you to the lower floors? Is it the pursuit of an empty washroom or something more?” I asked, directing my last question at the pouting seductress clinging ever harder unto his arm.

“I wasn’t aware that you live on this unit. I just asked around if there’s a unit opened for the party guests to use to their convenience.” He said mildly, almost apologetically, but still not quite.

“On the contrary, yes, I had invited the guests to use the services of my living room to their convenience, but it seemed that I had locked the door after me as it had become my habit before and after going out. So please do come in and use the restroom if you need to. I’ll be just in my room if you need something. I wouldn’t be in bed for quite awhile.” I said as I pushed myself away from the doorjamb and led the way inside.

Amy bounded eagerly for the bathroom, with a wink of promise of something undeniably sensual for the man of her desire. He led the way to the sofa and I felt compelled to play the hostess, a position I had always tried to avoid, even for a short while before I retire to my room and reacquainting myself with my alter-ego.

Awkwardly, I stood up in the middle of the room. I racked my brain trying to come up with a way to best entertain my unwanted guest. I sneaked a look at him and saw he was staring at me. Self-consciously, I smoothed my hand over my wrinkled top and had the idea of offering him a drink. At least, I’ll have my back turned so I wouldn’t have to contend with him staring at me with those smoldering eyes.

Decision made, I turned towards the fridge and called over my shoulder, “What do you want to drink? I’ve got a couple of beers here and some juice.” I waited for his reply, but it never came.

Undaunted, I bend a little and rummaged in the fridge. I was busy stalling that I didn’t realize he had come up to me.

I straightened up when I couldn’t stand his silence any longer. I turned around, clutching two cans of beers to my chest, pasting another social smile and almost dropped them. He was just a foot away from me.

Involuntarily, I took a step back and hit my calf against the fridge door. I felt the shock of it to the head and found myself pitching forward. I shut my eyes, the beers forgotten in my arms, and waited for the impact. Then, out of nowhere, I felt someone catch me.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and found him looking at me, his eyes reflecting his concern. I shivered slightly and wished the earth would open up and swallow me right then and there.

“Are you alright?” he asked me in his unbelievably husky voice.

I pulled myself clumsily from his embrace and tried for a sheepish smile. “Thanks. I’m alright, it’s like my curse or something.” I began conversationally, inching away from his unsettling nearness. It was then that I’ve noticed I’m still clutching the beer cans. “Um, here.” I tossed him one and went back to the sofa.

I settled on the left corner, hoping he would take the hint and sit on the other end. It was then I realized he didn’t follow me back to the sofa; instead, he leaned on the counter casually, his intense brown eyes studying me. I felt my face grow warm so I popped open the can and took a sip to hide my embarrassment. Even now, I couldn’t figure out why I get flustered around him, I’ve been around men more arrogant and exuding charm, than him and yet, for the past short hours, he only fascinated me.

I watched him over the rim of my beer can and he just stared back, his hand loosely holding the can. He never struck me as the silent type, and yet I hardly heard anything from him.

Frustrated, I stood up, got my hostess act together, and was prepared to take me leave when he finally said something.

“I’m sorry.”

Chapter 5

Startled, I turned to look back at him. He still hadn’t move an inch. I could have sworn I heard him say I’m sorry, but then again, I could be wrong. It was hardly more than above a whisper, but out of curiosity, I have to ask, “Excuse me?”

With a sigh, he straightened himself, “You heard me. I said I’m sorry.” He repeated a little more firmly.

“Oh. Can I ask what you’re asking forgiveness for?” I couldn’t help baiting him. I mean he was pretty full of himself up there on the rooftop, trying to put the moves on me with his tried and tested charm.

“About what happened up there. I guess I came on too strong and put you in a very uncomfortable position.” He said apologetically.

“Apology accepted, though I have to admit I had not expected that coming from you.” I turned to face him fully, and crossed my arm across my breasts. “You do surprise me, but I’m afraid it takes more than a sorry to make me changed my mind about you. You do give quite an unnerving first impression Mr. Ortega.”

“Well, guess we’ll have to remedy that.” He smiled a reflection of his charm.

“And what do you propose to that?” I couldn’t help inquiring. I knew he was toying a bit with me, but it was tempting to know what sort of action he would take to win my approval, if he’s not after my friendship or something else for that matter.

“Well, for starters…”

“I’m done.”

Zack Ortega was interrupted by the timely return of Amy. It seemed we both forgotten she was there in the condo with us judging from the faint startled expression that fleeted through his eyes the moment the bathroom door opened and she called out seductively.

“Ready to leave?” Amy sauntered to where he was standing a few feet in front of me and hooked her arm around his. She could get irritably clingy.

“In a bit.” He turned to look down at her. If he towered over me about a head, Amy looked like a dwarf standing next to him with her petite physique.

I shot her a nasty glance that fell on oblivious eyes, as what always happens when she find a new prey. She’s unmindful of anything except getting the guy to hook up with her. I turned my attention back to the man and found him looking at me with amusement once again.

Controlling my facial features as best I can, I tried to follow up on what he was saying before we were rudely interrupted. “You were saying something.” I pointedly asked him.

“Right. Where was I?” he screwed up his eyes in thought and I couldn’t figure out why my heart skipped a beat just then.

“What were you guys talking about?” Amy pouted prettily up to him, ignoring my presence in the room quite effectively.

Since he was thinking, and hadn’t had a chance to reply, I took the task unto my own hands. “Oh nothing Amy, just having a normal conversation between normal individuals who converse with their minds and not with their bodies.” I said casually. I saw her frown and had to keep myself in check in case I burst out laughing. She looked so clueless as usual, with her head full of nothing but hooking up.

Zack cast me a smile full of humor, and nudged a pouting Amy at the hip. ”Hey, why don’t you wait for me outside? I’ll only be just a minute. I also need to use the bathroom you know.”

“Okay, but hurry up.” She said sulkily, turning slowly, brushing her breast against his sleeve, and sashaying out of my front door. I could just cream her just then if she didn’t shut the door behind her.

“So?” I asked casually, re-crossing my arms across my chest, praying he wouldn’t notice that I’m unsure of myself.

“Well, since I can’t come up with a solution at the moment, let me get your number and I’ll call you when I figured something out.” He once again flashed his devastating smile, although it was somewhat deemed by his obvious sheepishness.

“Hm, I don’t think so. And I think you better go now.” I smiled back sweetly, aware that it’s a little rude after he apologized and all, but the last thing I need at the moment is someone like him.

He looked crestfallen for a moment, but he quickly regained his composure and extended his hand. “In that case, it was nice meeting you tonight.”

I unwound my hand from my chest and reached for his. This time, I told myself, would be the last time I’ll ever feel this man’s touch.

Was I ever wrong.

Chapter 6

I went back to my room after they had gone, leaving my front door open to admit any more people in need of a bathroom or a quiet place away from the party. I left the door to my room slightly open to let in any sound of incoming guests.

I faced my monitor once again and found that I had completely lost my mood for going through my e-mails. Instead, I scrolled down and check the subjects for something that I feel I could do justice in my current state and that’s when I found something unusual.

Frowning, I clicked on an e-mail that had urgent as its subject. With my imagination thrown into an overdrive, I thought it might be someone in need of desperate help, and could be considering death, drugs or alcohol as solution, as so many others had done in the past. Instead, I got one of the biggest shocks in my life.

It was a letter from the editor-in-chief of one of the most widely distributed magazine, the SEN magazine. I couldn’t believe my eyes at what I was seeing. I had to reread thrice more before I could be positive it was real.

By the time I got ready for bed, I had the whole e-mail memorize. Of course I made sure I hadn’t forgotten to answer it.

Dear Love Guru,

I had been greatly impressed with the advice you had given everyone who had ever written to you, though I am quite sure that you are very much surprise how I know. You see, I had received many letters in my line of work praising your advice and your site that I feel that it would be worth my time to check it out. And I am glad I did.

I must admit I hadn’t expected to find someone as insightful as you are, or as sympathetic. I would be glad to meet up with you and maybe we could talk about getting your advice to more people via our magazine, SEN. I’m sure you’re quite familiar with it, if not with the magazine itself, but with the name. It would be our utmost pleasure to have you in our group. Please consider it.

This is still just an informal request and would be formalized after the negotiations. If it would suit you just fine, I would like to talk with you tomorrow over lunch at Pancake House at Magallanes. Please reply ASAP.

Thank you.

Yours,

Ms. Amelia Tan Lim

Editor-in-chief

SEN Magazine

With trembling hands, and a feeling of restlessness, I typed a quick response.

Dear Ms. Lim,

I would be glad to accept your invitation and would be at the restaurant at eleven am. However, I am quite concerned for I have no idea how to recognize you. I would be waiting for your reply, and if I am unable to read it on time, I’ll still be there, wearing (I rummaged through my closet and found that my cream top still looked good and so was my mid-calf brown skirt. I really need to do my laundry soon.) a cream shirt.

Yours,

Love Guru

I woke up around nine in the morning feeling much refreshed. Although the night before held a lot of surprises, I still managed to catch up on my sleep, and that’s a good thing. I stretched my arms out, imagining that I’m wearing silk pajamas, with the smoothness of it scratching against my bare skin. It’s bound to be a wonderful day.

I got out of bed and padded my way to my computer and switched it on, connected to the internet and checked my e-mail. Besides the usual mass of new e-mails from people asking for my help, there was no reply.

I settled myself on my swivel chair and began to methodically read and reply to the twenty or so e-mails flooding my inbox. It was around ten when I got through them all. With another stretch, I got up and made my way to my living room.

Upon opening the door, I got another surprise. Sprawled all over the place were my friends and some people I met the night before. If my guess is right, they’ve decided to camp out on my living room.

As quietly as I could, I turned back to my room and grabbed my toiletries, towel and the clothes I’m going to wear today and tiptoed across bodies lying at odd angles around my place to get to the bathroom. I felt like I was one of the guys in Mouse Trap, who made the stupid mistake of trapping themselves in the small corner of the room while setting up mouse traps.

When I finally reached the bathroom door, Janie stirred from the sofa and looked bleary eye at me. “Where you going?” she croaked out groggily, her hand flying to her temple.

Gritting my teeth, I knew she had once again drunk more than she should. “Out. I think you better get some coffee brewing, if my guess is right, you’re all suffering from humongous hang-overs.” I turned the knob as quietly as I could, in an attempt not to wake the guy at my feet.

“What time is it?” Janie asked, making her way less considerately across the room for the kitchenette across the sofa.

“It’s already ten.” I let myself in the bathroom and closed it as gently as possible and took my shower.

When I finally got out of the bathroom, most of the people were up and milling around in the small confines of my unit. I dodged drowsy people on my way to my room, occasionally greeting them as they dazedly spotted me.

I got my bag from my room and locked it after making sure the keys with me, and went to look for Janie. I spotted her at the counter, dolling out cups after cups of instant coffee. And a random thought flitted through my mind, thanking the high heavens for putting it in my head to buy myself a hot and cold water dispenser. I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned to me, looking a lot more like her usual wakeful self. “I’ve got to run so please lock the door when you all go out.”

Janie just nodded and tried to suppress a yawn as another one got up and made her way towards the counter. I looked at her a little dolefully, she should really try to regulate her drinking habits, but I’ve got no time to spare at the moment.

With a backward glance at my crowded unit, I closed the door and headed for the elevator banks. After securing my car, I cruised along Edsa, looking forward to the meeting.

In thirty minutes, I got to Magallanes and eased my car into a parking spot. I have to admit that it’s quite impressive here, since this was my first time to go here after hearing about the development they did. It wasn’t big, but there’s Starbucks and Rustan’s Fresh Supermarket, as well as some restaurants that I had not yet tried.

With a slight spring to my step, I made my way to Pancake House and went in. the interior was very homey as the usual décor of Pancake House, but slightly different from those branches I’ve been to. It might be because it was much bigger than those in the malls, or just the movie posters on the walls leading to the second floor.

I took a seat in an empty booth, taking the side facing the door, wondering if I’m too early. I glanced at my watch and it read eleven-thirty. Then, feeling a little uneasy after the waiter handed me a menu, I pretended to study the menu while sneaking glances at the other customers around. There’s a couple of teenagers sharing a waffle, a man with a briefcase on the seat next to him and a whole lot of paper scattered on his table, a family of four having a joyous time, a couple of tourists enjoying an American meal, but none that looked alone or waiting for someone.

I frowned down at the menu and was debating whether to check upstairs or not when someone tapped me lightly on the arm. I looked up and found a woman in her late twenties or early thirties, wearing a blouse and jeans looking a little sheepish. “Yes?”

“Are you by any chance Love Guru?”

Chapter 7

“Ms. Amelia Tan Lim by any chance?” I countered. Well, I didn’t want to make the mistake of revealing my identity to anyone because that would expose my secret.

“Thank god. I thought I might get the wrong person.” She said relieved. She settled herself across from me and took the menu handed to her by the waiter. Before I know it, she was already ordering.

She glanced at my surprised expression and added conspiratorially, “Don’t worry about a thing, the company will pay for our lunch.” Winking, she went back to talk to the waiter. Without knowing how to react, I bent my head down to look at the menu and finally made a choice.

As soon as the waiter left with our orders, she faced me with a very excited grin on her face. “So, I finally get to meet the famous Love Guru. I must say I was a bit surprised. I didn’t think you would be quite young and not to mention a woman.”

At this, I definitely had to react, “Urm, what do you mean by that?”

“Oh, nothing at all, just that you sound quite sexless, as if you know exactly how to get your point across and you don’t come out as trying too hard or anything. Of course I had my suspicions that you might be a woman, but to have it confirmed is much more than I expected. I can’t believe how excited I am.” She keeps giving me this worshipful look, with her hands clasped in front of her, reminding me of Tomoyo when she thought of some new designs for Sakura to wear.

“Um, Ms. Lim, it’s no trouble at all. And I don’t think I’m worthy enough to get excited about.” I couldn’t believe how embarrassed I am. Sure I get letters from people saying that I helped them a lot, but this takes the cake in terms of excitement. “Would you care to tell me how you came to know about me, or rather my work?” well, I couldn’t think of anything to start a conversation with, so I had to try to at least satisfy my knowledge.

She laughed. “Oh dear, I was hoping you wouldn’t ask me that. To tell you the truth, I was one of the people who had sent you a letter. I’m Selena.”

Selena? Selena? Okay, that sounds familiar, and then it hit me. “You’re Selena? The woman who had once asked me would it be right to live in with your boyfriend of two weeks?” I gasped when she nodded sheepishly.

“Well, to tell you the truth, you were right all along. He wanted only someone to warm his bed every night without having to pay a dime. I took your advice and he almost force me to do it, that was when I told him it’s over and left him there looking like a goldfish with his mouth opening and closing.” She laughed at the memory and I laughed along with her, picturing someone doing something like that, a particular someone.

“Okay, that would be something. But why now? Why ask me now?” It puzzled me still, considering the fact that she knew about me long before.

“Simple. I got promoted to editor-in-chief. During the brainstorming conference, I brought up the subject of you. And it was quite surprising because a lot of them had heard about you. It was agreed that we would like to publish some of the letters and your replies, with your consent of course, and put it under the title ‘The Mailbox by Love Guru’. Of course, we want you to work for us, and by agreeing to do this, you could reach a much wider audience. Everybody will know about how great you are.” I noticed she got stars on her eyes again.

“Your offer sounds good and all, but I really don’t want to reveal my identity to anyone.” I apologized, turning the offer down indirectly.

“I already thought about that. See, before I asked you, I already figured that you’re one of those people who like to help others anonymously, and I think it’s great because it shows you’re not after fame. Anyway, I thought that we could pretend that I’m hiring you as a marketing assistant or even a column writer. Then, nobody would know that you were Love Guru.” She happily concluded.

The waiter arrived with out orders and we started to dig in, and silence reigned on our table for awhile. “That might be possible, but how are you planning to explain to them about Love Guru working for you and still being anonymous to all party concerned?”

“I thought of that as well, I could just simply say I correspond with Love Guru over the internet and had her paycheck deposited in a P. O. Box or something. But, does this mean you’re accepting my offer?” she enquired, with her eyes pleading with me.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Your offer sounds very nice Ms. Lim, and I think it would be good for me. But can you give me a sec to think it over?”

“Oh sure, and please call me Lia, everybody does. Oh, I didn’t catch your name. It wouldn’t be any help at this charade if I keep calling you Love Guru.” She laughed at her silliness that I couldn’t help but think that she would be a fun boss to work with.

“Julia. Julia Lang.”

“Oh goody. That’s sounds really cool. Tell me something, why is it that you always reply to e-mails a day later if they were sent at night?” she asked, leaning a bit closer in curiosity.

“Simply put, I work at night.”

“At night?” she answered taken aback.

“Well, it’s like this, I work the graveyard shift at the Y Company call center. The pays good, but it cause to be an insomniac, so as soon as I get home, I go to bed.” I shrugged my shoulders and dug into my blueberry cheesecake.

“Oh.”

Chapter 8

All in a space of a month, I had settled quite nicely to the routine of going to work in the mornings and going to bed at night. Of course at first it was really hard for me, but Lia was very understanding about it and allowed me a week to get used to it.

My days went like clockwork now. I go to the office and wait for my assignments, which my editor seems to find amusing to send me to cover events for the adolescent section of the magazine, then answer letters on my website every chance I get. The news of having obtained permission from Love Guru to publish some of her letters and replies got everyone excited for quite awhile. Questions had been tossed around, and it was impressive how Lia ever manages to dodge them all.

“Hey Julia, I need you to head over to Greenbelt for that event…” My editor, Nina Ramos, came peeking from the top of my divider. She usually looked harass, and usually forgot what she was going to tell you. She was pretty surprising when I met her.

“You mean the ‘It’s cool to be you’ event?” I suggested, hiding a smile behind a paper cup.

“Yes, that’s right. You’re a lifesaver. Can you do it?” She anxiously ask me, and judging from the way her head was bent, I’m guessing the lower half of her body had started to walk to the next cubicle.

“Sure. I’ll get right on it.” I said seriously, standing up and grabbing my bag.

“Thanks a bunch.” The next thing I knew, she had cornered another of her staff at the next cubicle looking as harass as ever. I secretly think that she does it on purpose in order for everyone to take her seriously when she says working for a magazine is a tough job.

I threw away the paper cup on my way to the elevator banks and stopped outside Lia’s office. I poked my head in and said with a smile, “It’s in your inbox now. Talk to me later if there’s any problem cause I got to run to Greenbelt.”

She nodded her understanding as she argued over the phone. I guess it must be tough trying to talk to hysterical personnel over the phone.

With my bag on my shoulder and keys in my hand, I drove off to some unexpected encounter.

“Fancy meeting you here.” A familiar voice said close to my ear.

It startled me so much I thought I must have jumped about a foot from the ground. Whirling, I came face to face with none other than Zack Ortega. “Hi.” Was all I could say, in the suddenness of it all.

“Hello yourself. What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you’re secretly still have problems getting in touch with your true self.” He said half-jokingly, his hand casually resting on the post behind me, which I had decided earlier as a good spot not to miss the action and not to get in the way of the organizers.

“Frankly, I’m very much in tune with myself and just here to cover this event.” I pointed to the press ID hanging around my neck. “What about you? You don’t usually hang around adolescent girls do you?”

He chuckled, “No, but I do enjoy organizing this kind of events.”

“Well then, a couple of questions if you please.” I began, shifting from casual conversation to businesslike talk.

“Shall we find a more comfortable place?” he asked, his eyes held the same twinkle as the night he had come into my unit.

“Oh that would be nice, but I really hate to miss a single moment of this event.” I stalled. I don’t really know why, but there’s something about him that bothers me a lot more than I wished to reveal.

“How about after the event then? It wouldn’t cause you any trouble, wouldn’t it?” he asked casually touching me on the elbow.

“I guess we’ll just have to see. Let me give you a rain check on that.” I hedged, feeling the slight contact playing havoc with my mind.

“Okay then, I’ll hold you to it.”

The event was successful as teenagers and parents had the chance to interact and understand each other in a whole new level. I also got enough details for my story and was about to follow the crowd away from the activity center when someone grabbed me from behind. The next thing I knew, my back was resting on something solid and, gulp, very manly.

“You know, you shouldn’t try to run away from me every chance you get. I could be a good guy you know.” That same husky whisper, his whiskers brushing lightly against my pinna, as he once again leaned closer.

“What made you think I was running away from you?” I asked indignantly. “I was just going to the restroom.” I bluffed. “Now, would you please let me go? I really hate to get kidney stones by holding it in.” I turned to glare at him, and it occurred to me once again how tall he was compared to the guys I used to date, even taller than AA.

He laughed and took my hand in his. The next thing I knew, we were going against the tide and before I knew it, we were parked in front of the restroom. “Do your thing, I’ll wait for you here.” He said over his shoulder as he strolled to the railing and leaned against it.

Defeated, I headed for the bathroom and tried to stay as late as I could without seeming like one of the girls who spends about thirty minutes freshening up.

“Wow, that was fast.” he commented when I finally emerged.

“Were you being sarcastic by any chance?” I asked a little irritated.

“Not at all, in fact, I’m being sincere. You should teach those women to be a lot like you.” He teased.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, genuinely puzzled.

“Let’s see, most girls I know spend almost an hour in there doing God knows what, and you’re like the fastest one for me out of there.” He winked at me and met me halfway, once again taking hold of my hand. “Now, where were me? Oh yes, we’re supposed to have an interview over coffee. I do hope you like Seattle’s Best.”

“Seattle’s okay with me.” Was all I could muster as he led me once again against the throng of many people crowding the mall today.

Chapter 9

We finally settled in one of the many tables cramped inside the store sharing a cup and talking, a casual conversation that didn’t dwell too deeply in the thoughts of the other.

“Tell me, why hot chocolate? I had you pegged as a coffee drinker.” He asked, taking a sip from his latte.

“I’m really not much of a coffee drinker. I usually drink tea, but the hot choco here is really good. You should give it a try sometime.” I replied conversationally, hoping that my uneasiness doesn’t show.

“Really?” he looked at me enigmatically, and suddenly grabbed my hand that was holding the mug and took a sip from it. “Hm… you’re right. It is good.” He said to my shocked expression.

I must have looked so weird that he let out a guffaw of pure laughter that half the customers turned to stare at us. I wished I could melt right then and there as I felt my face heat up like a furnace.

“You should have seen your face.” He managed to gasp out between laughter. “I swear you’re the first woman who ever reacted like that when I do that.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I asked icily; if there’s one thing that gets on my nerve, its’ guys who make fun of me and gets away with it.

“Nothing really.” He managed to straighten his face but let out another bursts of laughter. “You crack me up.”

“Well, I’m happy that you find me amusing.” I snapped, grabbing my bag, and pushing back my chair, as if to get up when his arm shot out of nowhere.

“Don’t go. I’ll promise I won’t laugh at you.” He visibly fought his amusement, and his hold loosened when I settled myself back on the chair. “I really didn’t mean to laugh at you. It’s just that you’re different from the women I’m used to.” He explained soberly.

“That’s good to hear. But since time is passing us by, I think we better get back to business.” I said briskly, taking out my tape recorder, effectively cutting off the light mood we had started with.

“Okay, this is my stop. Thanks for the ride.” I politely thanked him as I reached for the door handle. He was very insistent about giving me a ride back to the office that I relented after his fifth attempt.

“Oh, let me walk you in.”

“No, you’ve done enough already. Don’t trouble yourself more. It’s okay.” I said behind a tolerant grin. He could be such a pain in the neck and spending that much time in his company was making me edgy. It brought to mind the lines from a Shakespeare’s play, though I’m not really sure if it came from the “Taming of the Shrew”, ‘how long must I suffer thee?’ come to think of it, it might not be a Shakespearean play after all, it could be in one of the many historical novels I’ve read before. But either way, this line could so describe the way I felt right now.

“I insist. I had indeed waste a lot of your time, at least let me repay you by explaining to your boss why you’re so late.” He grinned with that self-assured way he possessed and went to get out of his side of the car. And before I had the passenger door completely opened, he was there to assist me and escort me inside the building.

“What about your car?” I asked as he made no gesture to turn back when we got to the door.

“Oh don’t worry about it, the valet got it.” He said cheerfully, following me step-by-step as I headed for the elevator banks.

“Huh?” I glanced at him sideways and was about to say something, but thought better of it and just gave a shrug. “Whatever.” I mumbled and got inside as soon as the door opened, and to my surprise, he got in behind me.

Trying to ignore this nagging feeling that he’s not telling me something, I reached for the buttons and found his hand a few seconds ahead of me, pushing the button for the eighth floor. Since it was pretty late, hardly anyone went up to the offices anymore so it was just the two of us in the elevator.

I looked at him questioningly and he just looked back with an innocent grin on his face. I just shook my head at the mystery of it all and concentrated on the hum coming from the lift at it rose up, taking my stomach alongside.

After what seemed like a long time, the doors slid open, the cool air greeting the tight confines of the elevator. I stepped out on the cool tiles, taking a quick breath. I turned around to face him and say goodbye only to realize he got off behind me and was standing just a few inches. I lost my balance and only his quick reaction saved me from making a mess of myself on the floor.

“Are you alright?” his voice was colored with something I’m afraid to name, since I might make a mistake.

“Yes.” My voice came out all muffled as he held me against his chest. “You can let go now.” I said again when he didn’t let me go immediately.

Zack let me go eventually, but with an awkwardness that caught me off guard. His movements had me thinking that he was somewhat reluctant to let me go, but I mentally shook the thought away, as that would be presumptuous of me.

“Um, thanks.” I mumbled, feeling as awkward as a pubescent girl finding that she was alone with her crush. I tried my best to restore composure and feigned a light mood as I struggled with my goodbyes. “So… thanks for…” I gestured around me, “everything. Bye.” I pirouetted on the spot and was about to head off for the office when Lia emerged.

“Oh hi Mr. Ortega. I see you have met our new writer, Julia Lang.” She greeted him formally as I stood behind her with my mouth slightly agape.

Chapter 10

“Yes, I have Ms. Lim. I am looking forward to see how having her as part of the team would boost our sales.” He replied swiftly, his charming smile in place. Then he glance at me and said, “I had a wonderful time hanging with you. We must do it some other time, then. Anyway, I better head back to my office now.” And just as he was constantly there by my side, he vanished as though he was just a divine being who thought it fun to play with one’s senses by disappearing and reappearing.

Lia turned to me and caught the thunderous expression on my face and hesitated a few seconds before speaking. “I would have asked you what you were doing with him, but judging from the look on your face, I think I better reserve that question for another day.” She took me gently by the arm and steered me towards the office. I have no idea what’s up with today, but everyone kept escorting me to places.

“Anyway, I had read what you’ve sent me and had chosen what to publish. Now, the question is, do you want to receive snail mails as well, or just e-mails? Because if it’s okay with you, I’ll set up a post-office box for you and you could get your mail there instead of having it deliver to the office to avoid suspicion.” Lia pitched as soon as we found ourselves in her office.

“Sounds good to me. I just hope nobody suspects us yet.” I replied, half listening.

Lia let out a sigh that caught my attention. “It seems that you’re still mad at him. Well, I can’t blame you. It was very wrong of him to tease you like that, but knowing him, he has something else in mind.” She said half to herself.

“What do you mean?” I asked her, my curiosity piqued.

“Oh dear, maybe I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, but you’re going to hear about it anyway if he keeps hanging around you. He had a reputation for being a player, and if my guess is right, he likes you.” Lia said in a rush.

I looked at her and burst out laughing. “I figured he was player when I first met him about a month ago. But he having the hots for me sounds totally ridiculous.”

“You’ve met him before?”

“Yup. On my birthday, Mary Beth invited him to my party and I thought he was so full of himself. I just brushed him off.” I said nonchalantly.

“No wonder he likes you.” She said thoughtfully.

“Why do you say that?”

“As far as I recall, you’re the first woman who ever turned down his attentions. And if I know anything at all about men, they’re always after what they can’t get easily.”

When I got to my car, I found Mary Beth waiting for me with an apologetic look on her face.

“I’m sorry. I heard about what happened from Lia. I should have known you would run into him eventually when I heard where you’re working.” She seemed really apologetic, complete with the lip-biting that I couldn’t exactly bring myself to be angry at her, although it would be an indirect anger towards the man I only found out today was my boss.

“Look, it’s nothing to be sorry about. If there’s someone whose suppose to apologize, it’s him. He could at least told me he’s my boss or something, not make me think he’s a stalker or something.” I said, as I unlocked the door to my car and gestured her to get in. “I’ll drive you home.”

Mary Beth looked torn. She bit her lip again and looked very contemplative to my car and to the door.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, concerned making me frown a little.

“Um, it’s just that I usually catch a ride with Zack because we both live in the same neighborhood. Not that I don’t want to take a ride with you or anything, it’s just that you’d be a lot farther from your house and I really don’t want to trouble you more today after what you’d just gone through.” she kept babbling on, fidgeting with the her shirt tail.

“Look, I don’t mind the distance, but if you want to spend time with him, I’m not obliging you to ride with me. I just thought that since we’re friends that it would be rude not to offer you a ride home since you waited for me and all.” I said with a shrug. I slid inside the driver’s seat, feeling completely drained.

“Please don’t get the wrong idea. We’re not together o anything, we’re just friends.” Mary Beth started prattling again, her arms waving here and there in her need to express the fact that they’re not together.

Despite the tired feeling, I laughed long and hard. She stopped waving her arms around and just stared at me through the windshield.

“You believe me?” She asked uncertainly.

“Yes I do. From the way you were acting, you just confirmed my suspicion that he’s a real playboy. And besides, I know you love Greg too much to look for anyone else.” I smiled at her as I leaned forward on the steering wheel.

She let out a sigh of relief and smiled as well. “Guess you’re pretty observant as usual. And yes, he is called a playboy behind his back, but how did you guess?” she asked, coming to my side.

“Simple, he came on way too strong at the party and Amy had wrapped herself around him.” I said matter-of-factly as I pulled the seat belt and locked it at my side.

“Wait a minute, how did you know that? Amy came by after you walked out on the party.” She leaned through the open window and scrutinized my face.

“Well, I had to open the door to my unit for them. She had to go the bathroom and I forgot I offered my unit for those in need of bathroom facilities. They came together and Amy was looking pretty sulky when she found herself cast out as we were having a conversation. But either way, I think they left the party together.” I explained, wondering why she looked a cross between delighted and surprised.

“To tell you the truth, they didn’t left together at all. As soon as they got back to the party, Zack left by himself and Amy threw herself on another guy. It was really weird, but maybe it has something to do with meeting you.” She said more to herself thoughtfully.

I looked at her more confused than ever. “Why would you think I had anything to do with their leaving the party separately?”

“Hm… ?” she came to, “What? Did you say something?” she looked completely clueless that I decided to leave it at that.

“Never mind.” I said, masking my surprising disappointment. I turned the ignition key and was about to ask her if she really didn’t want to consider a ride with me when the devil stepped out of the door looking as intimidating as ever. “Looks like your ride’s here.” I commented dryly. “Anyway, see you tomorrow.” I called back as I closed the open window and took off, watching as she approached him through the rear view mirror until I couldn’t see them anymore as I climbed up the incline for the busy streets above.

Chapter 11

The next few weeks had me dodging him every time I see him approach. The building felt like it was such a small place despite the fact that it was about thirty stories high. He kept turning up every which way that I’d hardly got any work done in the office.

“Hey Julia, you okay?” Lia asked me when she dropped by my cubicle.

“What?” I asked startled. I’ve been staring at my screen for some time now, oblivious to the going-ons around me.

“You look tired. I think you better take the day off. You’re pushing yourself too hard again.” Lia said trying to keep her voice stern, but unable to completely mask the concern that crept in.

“No, I’m okay, just had a late night last night. By the way, what did you mean by pushing myself too hard?” I asked, turning to look at her fully.

“Well, I had a talk with Mary Beth the other day because she felt that you’d been going all over the place with hardly taking some time off to rest. She also said that the only times you did that was because you’re running away from your memories or avoiding someone.” She went on when she saw my surprised expression at her last words. “I’m guessing you’re avoiding someone.”

Well, my face gave it away, so I just refrained from giving a verbal answer by just shrugging my shoulders. Besides, it seemed to me she was baiting me to reveal who I was avoiding.

“Look, if you don’t want to tell me who, I wouldn’t be able to tell the person to stop hounding you.” Lia said in an all too casual manner.

She had switched tactics, I see. But then again, I could refuse to answer. “Why do you think I’m avoiding anyone?” I retorted, swinging back my chair to look at the screen, clicking a few buttons here and there to bring my webpage in focus.

“Sigh, you know what, you can be such a secretive person.” She said a trace of irritation in her voice as she leaned down to face me when I turned my chair around. “It’s not like I don’t have any idea who, but I rather you tell me than me having to act all presumptuous about it.” She crossed her arms across her chest.

“I’m sorry if it seemed that way. But it’s nothing really, just got a lot more e-mails to answer that I’ve been up late into the night doing them.” I said, trying to suppress a yawn. It wouldn’t do to give her cause to worry. I just need to hang in there.

“I know you’re busy with that and all the other things you need to do, but seriously, I don’t think that’s the only thing bothering you. You might think I didn’t notice it, but Mr. Ortega doesn’t normally come to this floor of the building until you began to work here.” She began pointedly.

Involuntarily, I felt myself sit up straighter, my ears tuned to what else she had to say. I could’ve kicked myself for this, but since I didn’t want to appear too interested, I opted for a slightly curious response. “Really? He might have found the sales results interesting.” I offered, facing my monitor again and opening the first new e-mail. I had seen the sales reports for the first two issues my work had been published in and there was definitely a huge increase in sales.

“Maybe, or there’s someone else he finds interesting.” She said mysteriously as she floated away from my cubicle.

I have no idea what had gotten into them. First, there’s Mary Beth and now Lia. Why do they keep hinting on the fact that Zack Ortega hadn’t been like himself since we met.

On a night a few days after that encounter, out of habit, I made my way to the basement parking area only to remember that I left my car at the shop this morning. To my surprise and chagrin, Zack Ortega was there, with his car parked at the parking entrance to the building. I was about to turn back inside when he called out.

“I heard that your car’s in the shop this morning.”

I turned back to face him, my face a mask of curiosity. I had a feeling he had something in mind, though I’m not sure what he was hoping to accomplish.

He stepped away from the car and sauntered towards me. “Well, times are getting dangerous and I think it would be better if I take you home.” He stopped a few measly inches away from me.

“I’m quite aware of the risks involve and besides, I don’t want you to think that you have to carpool anyone who don’t have a ride home.” I declined politely. I couldn’t help adding, “You’re already taking Mary Beth home and it wouldn’t be right to make you take a different route than the one you’re heading for. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I better call myself a taxi.” I turned around and let out a breath of relief as I start to go back in.

His hand shot out of nowhere and took hold of my bare arm. “Mary Beth had a date tonight, and it wouldn’t be a nuisance to me at all to take you home. I have some things to do in your part of town anyway, so I could just drop you off.”

I faced him again, my heart pounding incessantly, my breath stuck in my throat as I regarded him. I’m still pretty much steamed about his deception. He looked on pleadingly, his hand warm, his hold firm yet without pressure. I chewed on my lower lip and tried to think of reasons to accept his invitation. Somehow, I always ended up with the fact that I’m curious to know more about him.

His face started to look a bit crestfallen; his hold loosening when I didn’t gave him an answer for quite awhile. Softly, and a little bit shy, I said an uncertain, “Okay.”

The ride didn’t took much long since traffic is sparse this time of the night. He drove very much like I expected from one who runs a big company, but I was a bit surprise in his choice of music. He twiddled with the dial as soon as we got in and by the time we got on the main road, the car’s stereo was blasting out Nina singing ‘I don’t want to be your friend’.

Even though I tried to keep myself from singing along, I couldn’t stop myself from humming. I tried to keep low since I really didn’t feel like being heard. It’s not like I didn’t have a voice just that I didn’t have the confidence to perform for an audience.

“You know, I bet you have a nice singing voice.” He said so softly and conversationally that I quit humming. I could feel my face burning like a beacon that I’m all too glad that the car had a dark interior.

He chuckled softly still, making my stomach felt as if it’s on a roller coaster ride when he threw me a glance. “You don’t have to hide it. If your humming sounded as nice as that, your voice must be even nicer.”

I faced the window and didn’t offer any retort. In some way, whatever he said kept burying itself in my mind and I didn’t like feeling so affected by someone like him.

“Okay, I didn’t mean to embarrass you at all. But I guess since we’re almost at your place, we could at least have a decent conversation.” He took another approach.

“What exactly do you have in mind?” I asked, a tad suspicious.

“Well, for starters, I’m sorry for not introducing myself formally and letting you think otherwise. But I’m not sorry for spending time with you.” He took a quick meaningful look at me before shifting his attention back on the road.

“And what’s that suppose to mean?” I asked feigning disinterest.

“I knew it was wrong to mislead you, but I wanted to tell you I had a good time with you. You get straight to the point and asked questions that made me think. And that’s what I like about you. You make one hell of a magazine writer.” He went on, his tone possessing too much not to mistake it for what it is, admiration.

“Well, it’s what I work on, it’s nothing special.” I shrugged and got my things together when he parked in front of my building. “Thanks for the ride.” I got hold of the door and got out.

He startled me then when he got out as well and walked me to the door, offering only a smile and, “I’ll walk you to your unit.”

With another shrug of indifference, I preceded him into the elevator up to my unit. At the door, I faced him and said a bit more formally. “Well, I’m home now Mr. Ortega. Thank you for the ride and the walk home.” If I had been in Japan, I would have probably given him a small bow.

“It’s my pleasure.” He said with the same smile he had given me when we first met. “Goodnight Ms. Lang. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He didn’t make any move back to the elevator.

Feeling a little uncomfortable, I opened the door and got inside. Using it as a shield, I bid him goodnight as well, unprepared for the brief brush of his lips on mine. Because it was so sudden, I couldn’t react at all as I watched him walk towards the elevator, whistling the same song I was humming to.

Chapter 12

Things couldn’t be better. After that kiss, I stayed far away from him as possible. And as my inquisitive friends took notice of this, they had the decency to wait until I’m ready to talk. Even a week later, I still couldn’t quite figure out what happened. Sure, I got a good memory of the night it happened, but I had next to none recounts on what happened after. I felt weak, shocked, confused that when I finally managed to shut the door, I only had the strength to lean against it as the reality of what had transpired sunk in.

I buried myself in my cubicle, emerging only when it’s necessary and leaving the office early to continue work at home. Lia always cast me worried glances when she saw me leaving, but shied away from commenting.

My routine went on for a month before events had made it so that my usual routine had to be disrupted. It was almost October and the apparently annual Halloween party had been on the mind of everyone who worked here since last year. A meeting for the whole staff had been scheduled after office hours so I have no choice but to remain.

As the meeting drew near, I had the desire to get out of the office for awhile and to spend as much time away as possible before it begins. Gathering my things, I reassured Lia of my presence later and headed for the café at the ground floor.

With a hot chocolate in my hand, I selected one of the plush seats near the door and settled down to read a book. It must have been a few minutes later when Janie, with Hannah in tow, dropped by.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked them as soon as hugs had been exchanged. It had been awhile since I last saw them.

“Didn’t Mary Beth tell you? I’ve been commissioned to plan your office’s Halloween Ball. And Hannah here had volunteered to supervise the food. You know, she doesn’t want you to eat too much junk food again.” That last remark brought to mind a time when Hannah cleared out my whole fridge and filled it with health food. I had to eat bran muffins for breakfast, vegetable salads for lunch and even more vegetables and fish for dinners.

“So that means you’re getting known as an events planner then.” I concluded, happy and proud for her sake. Ever since I could remember, Janie had always wanted to be an events planner, and my surprise birthday bash was no exception.

“Well, yes and I’ve been planning this company’s events for awhile now, so I’m quite well-known in this parts.” She tried to sound modest, but her grin of excitement gave her away.

“What do you have in mind Hannah? Don’t tell me you plan to replace the usual party dishes with health foods?” I asked in mock horror.

Hannah sniffed. “In some way yes, but I wouldn’t change the whole menu. Just making sure there are some healthy foods for you to consume. And I had noticed that your fridge is once again stacked with junk food that I took the liberty of ridding you of them and filling it with salads, white meat and fish.” She reported as always.

Somehow, I regret having given her a key to my unit, but since it couldn’t be helped now, and besides, she’s only doing it for my benefit. “Er, thanks. How much do I owe you?”

“Nonsense, I rather see you eating healthy for a change without me needing to check on you.” She said graciously.

“By the way, how come you’re down here? Isn’t the meeting going to be up there?” Janie asked with a frown at the clock.

I glanced at my watch and let out a yelp. “Oh great, I guess I forgot to check the time. I guess we better hurry up.” I stood up, drained my cup and led to the way to the floor where the meeting was to take place.

Well, I must admit, I’ve never seen Janie so excited and so professional like this. Guess this must be how she works as an event organizer. Organized, precise, and cost-efficient, she was able to weave some kind of magic in the way she described the settings for the party. If I had known that witches and wizards do exist, I would have probably met one in her. She would be Flitwick’s top student even.

I glanced around the crowded room and saw Mary Beth taking down notes as Janie went on with outlining her plans for the party. I tried to make my way towards her in the crowd, occasionally bumping into someone and nearly tripping. I was nearly to her back when I finally did fall.

Strong hands hauled me back up and I found myself resting against a strong body, whose heat seeped into me, triggering a familiar tingling that I had just recently noticed. I snapped my head back and found Zack holding me in his arms, his eyes reflecting his curiosity and yes, there’s no mistake about it, his concern.

“Um, thanks for catching me. You can let me go now; I have to talk to Mary Beth about something.” I mumbled, unable to look him in the eye. For the life of me, I really couldn’t figure out why he affected me so. Even being held like this had enough effect on me to make me want to lean towards him and stay there.

“I’ll take you to her. It wouldn’t do to let you battle your way alone.” He said huskily, making me remember the first time he caught me when I almost stumbled in my home. His arms guiding me, I managed to reach Mary Beth,

“Hi.” I called out, a little breathless.

Mary Beth returned my greeting and turned to look at the man standing behind me with that same studious look she got when she found something of interest. “Aya’s going to be providing the entertainment at the ball.” She said distractedly, her gaze intent on the man she called her friend.

“What? It seems to me that this is turning out to be our gang’s project.” I exclaimed.

“Of course it is.” She finally gave me her full attention. “You’ll be doing the invitations.” She said matter-of-factly.

“Huh? How come I didn’t know that?” I asked, shocked at the turn of the events.

“Didn’t I tell you about it?” she asked, a bit surprised herself. When I shook my head no, she went on. “Remember the invitations I’ve been bugging you to do every time an occasion like this drew near? Well, those we’re the exact invitations we used. Since you’re experienced with it, it must have slipped my mind to ask you about it again.”

“Oh.” It was all I could say. Her explanation did help me understand the way she always bugged me for creating invitational masterpieces.

The meeting was adjourned around seven in the evening and as the people began to file out, Janie and Hannah caught up to us. “Aya’s waiting for us downstairs. Let’s have dinner together and smooth the plans over.” Janie declared, with obviously exciting smile lighting up her face.

Everyone agreed, but what surprised me the most was Zack Ortega agreeing to it. He had not moved an inch away from our group as the other people had started to leave.

“Can I borrow your car? I’m going to take you guys to a new restaurant I just discovered.” Janie chattered on as we too started to move towards the exit. With a smile, I handed over my car keys. Once she gets started, you could swear that you wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise.

We met up with Aya at the ground level. She was dressed up in an eighties get-up that a lot of people cast her curious glances on their way out. “So how did the meeting go, guys?” she asked as hugs had been exchanged once more.

“It went great. Now let’s all head to the parking lot and get going. I’m starving.” Mary Beth led the way down to the basement, filling Aya in on what had been talked about.

We paused next to my car and Janie began directing everyone. She had often joked that if she only knew how to act, she would have been a director instead of an events planner. “Now, Julia, you join Mr. Ortega in his car and follow us.” She finished.

“What?” It was out of my mouth before it had fully registered in my mind.

They all looked at me with amused smiles. “Well, I’m actually planning to take over your car tonight cause I need to pick out some stuff for the party and Mary Beth would be sleeping over. She asked Mr. Ortega to take you home and he agreed. So it was decided that you’d be riding with him to the restaurant and then he’ll take you home.” Janie said slyly, her eyes twinkling with laughter.

With a sigh, I looked at him. He seemed pretty relaxed about all this. I would have argued with Janie over this, but since I didn’t want to appear rude, nor confirm the fact that I’m avoiding him. “Okay, you win.” I resigned.

Chapter 13

The restaurant had been truly inspired, even the name had been well thought of. The ambiance light, inviting friendly conversation, Shrimp Haven was one of a kind restaurant. We were shown to a table near the windows at the back, showing a man made pond filled with different kinds of seafood. I chose the chair nearest the window and he, to my dismay, took the seat across from me.

The menu was something else. The décor of the place would give one the thought of dining in a cruise ship, while the menu looked as if you had just step into a high class restaurant. You wouldn’t believe how many shrimp dishes there are and the prices weren’t too pricey either. In fact, it was quite an experience.

As soon as we ordered, the waiter had left us a basket of rolls. They taste quite good. Flaky, and soft, the butter enhanced the flavor of the rolls that I found it to be such a delight.

“I know you love baked goods, but you have to quit eating those rolls Julia if you don’t want to spoil your appetite.” Janie said laughing.

I must have eaten two rolls already. “Well, I know. But they’re so delicious.” I said, blushing a little as I try to hold back my cravings for it.

“I’ll have to see if that’s nutritious enough for you to pig out on.” Hannah said seriously. I bet anything that she’ll excuse herself and asked for the recipe before we leave tonight.

“Oh come of it Hannah. Let me enjoy it for once without having to worry if it’s healthy or not.” I couldn’t help sighing out in exasperation.

Aya laid a wildly manicured hand on Hannah’s shoulder and drawled out. “Let her be. Besides, what harm would there be in bread, it’s made from wheat isn’t it?” You sure could trust Aya to tell Hannah to shut up. It had always been like that. They’re different from each other, and yet, they’re the closest among us.

Mary Beth had remained quiet for awhile after we ordered and now call our attention when she rapped the table three times. “Okay, I’ve worked out the budget cost of the plan we had in mind so we would need some of these things, as well as help in putting it up.” She looked pointedly at all of us.

“Yes, I know. That means I’m not going to be doing the invitations alone but helping out with the decorations as well.” I sighed.

“I’ll be helping you girls out as well.” Zack volunteered. All eyes turned to him as if we had forgotten that someone had trespassed in our all-girls group.

Janie was the first to break the silence that ensued. “Well, I was hoping you would Mr. Ortega. You see, even though we’re all capable individuals here, we often get into accidents, especially Julia.” She looked towards me meaningfully.

“Well I guess I would have my hands full assisting Ms. Lang and the rest of you.” He dimpled, showing his charm to my friends.

“Oh don’t worry about us, Mr. Ortega. We could take care of ourselves.” Janie said again, dismissing his gesture of assistance, staring pointedly at me. I got the feeling that they all had talked about this before, and if my instincts had been anything but right, I’m pretty sure they had decided that he’s the perfect man for me.

“Oh, is that so? Hmm… I think I could do justice to that. And I would very much like it if we would drop the formalities. We are after all friends aren’t we?” Zack changed the subject smoothly.

“I was hoping someone would suggest that.” Mary Beth exclaimed. “I’m not exactly used to addressing even my long-time friends formally.”

“Since when did you address me formally?” I asked her wide-eyed. I didn’t even notice if she was using formalities or not.

“Well, I haven’t done it yet.” She blushed sheepishly. Come to think of it, she just turned to the person she wished to talk to without calling out their names.

“It’s decided then. Out with the formalities, at least until we’re in a business setting.” Janie amended. Unanimously, we all considered Janie as the leader of the group. Maybe because she’s older or perkier, we always looked up to her for guidance that we didn’t question her authority within the group.

Discussion about the plans resumed as we waited for our meals to be served. All the while, I studied him out of the corner of my eye. He looked serious, more than I thought he’s capable of. And to my surprise, I liked the way he looked just then, serious and without a hint of his playful attitude of late.

“Would it be possible to provide rented costumes for the staff that wouldn’t be able to afford a gown or a tux?” he asked thoughtfully.

“Yes. Of course, but that would cost money as well. We also need to convert some rooms to serve as dressing rooms if we would be following that line of thought. In fact, I could tell you right now that Julia loved regency novels and find their sense of fashion quite charming. She’ll be able to pick the most wonderful choices for the staff.” Aya, ever the business woman, had been doing the calculations from the notes Mary Beth prepared. “But that would also mean that entertainment would have to be choice picked to fit the theme.” She got out a pen and scribbled some notes along the spine.

Zack looked at me with one raised quizzical brow. “Regency, huh? What a surprise.”

“Oh you should see her book shelves; it’s filled with so many romance novels, and most of them are historical. She loves to read about the Seasons that women in England go through in order to find husbands, the Scots and their pursuits of love, Knights who fought to protect what they considered theirs.” Mary Beth trailed on.

I felt my face grew warm as she recited the themes I enjoyed about them. She was much a fan of romance as I am, but it would seem that she was fonder of observing the kind of themes that I usually enjoyed reading about.

“She would love a Christmas wedding if there’s anything to go by cause she have lots of Christmas romances and weddings.” Mary Beth concluded.

“Um… Mary Beth, I think you told enough information for one night.” Janie laid a helpless hand on Mary Beth’s. Lucky for me Janie was quick to realize that I’m getting really flustered.

“Well, looks like the foods here.” I said brightly when I spied the waiter. I fastened my eyes on the dishes on the waiter’s hand, refusing to confirm if he was indeed staring at me with renewed interest.

The ride home was silent. He must have given up trying to make conversation when I answered his inquiries with noncommittal answers. I’m mad at Mary Beth, but I also knew that Janie would have given her a more severe talking to than I could ever master. The buildings flashed past, some with Halloween decorations, while other without. The silence hanged, filled with so much heaviness that if it had been air, I would have long ago suffocated. But still, I refuse to talk.

He rounded the car on my street and parked in front of my building. With a short good night, I placed my hand on the handle and was about to pull it open when he grabbed my shoulders and spun me to face him.

My breath caught in my throat. He was so close to me, his lips poised above mine. I was torn between wanting to shrink back and the desire to hold my ground, wanting to know if he would seize the chance to kiss me properly.

“Why are you running away from me?” his breath a warm caress on my suddenly sensitized cheeks.

“What do you mean running away?” I was surprised that my voice still sounded steady despite the incessant drumming of my heart.

“You were avoiding me, not even looking at me.” He said a little hurt, he cupped my face in his other hand, and as if he was afraid I’d turn my face away.

“What makes you so sure I’m avoiding you? I’m your employee; I have a lot of work to do. Of course I’m busy as it is.” I countered; I concentrated on remembering to breath.

“Is that all?” he asked, his face looming closer. Before I had time to react, his lips met mine and this time, I was less prepared for the sudden weakening in my legs than I was when he just brushed his lips on mine. I felt my eyes drift close as he deepened the kiss. He kissed like an expert, knowing exactly how to make me feel… I didn’t know what to make of it.

Sanity returned when his hands left my shoulder to skim my back in a provocative manner. He’s a player; he could be playing me for all I know. I tried to will some sense back into my scattered wits and managed to push him away. “Um, thanks for the ride. Good night.” I fled the car; the man and the unexplainable longing that had taken root as soon as his lips left mine.

Chapter 14

Monday morning came, and my dread had just reached its highest peak. I went to work as usual, determined to put the incident behind me as I buried myself once again in work. It would be such a distracting task if only I actually had an article to work on, but Nina hadn’t even approached me once to assign an article. Left to my own devices, I settled on typing up some of the mails I picked up from my post-office box on my way to work.

As I typed, I began to formulate an answer. It just occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to answer everyone like this. Sure, if it’s in the e-mail, they would receive it, but from the mail, it would be near impossible. Most of the letters I received hadn’t got an address on them. It must have been then that I seriously decided if I could compile every letter and responses, I could maybe published a book on it so that a lot more people would have access to it. I mean they might find some of the situations of those letter senders similar to theirs.

With that thought in mind, I closed my computer, making sure I put a password on the document, shoved the letters in my tote bag and headed for Lia’s office.

“Hey Lia, can I talk to you for a second?” I knocked at her door.

“Sure. Come on in.” She said through the door.

I stepped inside the office and almost stepped out again when I caught sight of Zack sitting next to her desk. “Oh, it seemed you’re busy right now. I’ll come back later.” I mumbled, it was then that I noticed that my hand was still holding on to the door knob.

“Hey, it’s okay. Have a seat.” Lia gestured me towards the opposite chair. “We were just discussing that we should lighten your workload for the meantime until after the Halloween Ball. You would be pitching in with the set-up and all that it wouldn’t be right to cause you too much stress.” She explained all this to me with a decidedly wicked twinkle in her eyes.

“Is that the reason why Nina hadn’t popped into my cubicle since early this morning?” I asked because I found my shock to be blocking out any thought. I also forgot about the book idea with her next words.

“Why yes. Mr. Ortega had talked to the staff asking everyone to pitch in when they can and to give Mary Beth and you some breathing space to work on making the Ball a success same as last year’s.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, Mr. Ortega was asking if he could borrow you for awhile to go costume hunting. And from what I heard from him and Mary Beth, you’re pretty good at this sort of thing.” She smiled warmly.

“Not really. Just enjoyed looking at medieval and regency stuff.” I replied modestly, I could my face starting to heat up. It had been happening once too often for my taste and I wished I could control this blushing thing, but there’s nothing I could do about it.

“By the way, is that the reason you wanted to talk to me?” Lia asked with a slight frown marring her smooth forehead.

“Oh, forget about it. It’s not that important.” I feigned nonchalance because I had forgotten all about my wonderful idea.

“Good. In that case, you could go ahead with the Halloween preparations.”

“How about this one?” Zack held up a ball gown in deep purple with a square bodice accentuated with pearls. The folds of the skirt fell softly to the floor and the light reflecting on it causes it to change color.

“It’s pretty.” I murmured. I was holding up a pale pink one with slightly puffed sleeves and a scoop neck bodice. The border between the corset and the skirt was emphasized by a thin gold cloth sewed there. The silkiness of the dress felt wonderful to the touch.

We had been picking up ball gowns for half an hour now in one of the costume rental shops I frequent just for the fun of it. We started with the ball gowns since the company got more female employees than male and not to mention the fact that I was hoping that each woman would be uniquely dressed.

“Then in that case I’ll add these two to the pile up front.” Zack volunteered, taking the dress from my hand.

I wandered farther in and saw a white satin dress. It had flecks of gold at the hem of the skirt and gold lace on the bodice and cusps, the sleeves, bell-like, and the length of the dress just enough for a slightly tall woman to wear it and have the hem dance along the floor. It made me thinks of woodland fairies.

“That would look nice on you.”

I jumped a little, startled at his voice. I hadn’t notice that he had come up to me. “You think so?” I asked before I could stop myself. In order to cover my embarrassment, I shifted the subject. “Let’s take that as well. That red velveteen dress would be a good choice as well.” I glided to the next rack and took hold of the long sleeves of the wine red ensemble. “I think we got all we could from this store on female clothing, let’s start on the male.” I said absently, fingering the soft material still in my hand.

“Whatever you say.” I could feel the smile in his voice as I let the sleeve fall and headed for the other side of the store.

By the time he got back from negotiating with the owner for those ball gowns, I had picked up trousers, knee-high white stockings, cravats, evening coats and even top hats. I also managed to locate some walking cane and white gloves, that I had read before on another novel was worn by men in Almack’s. “How did it go?”

“Well, he agreed to give a ten percent discount in rental provided I make sure it’ll be return the third day from the festivities. So what about you?” Zack reported.

“Well, as you can see, we got us some costumes for the men. Now I have to see about accessories for the women.” I bustled to a glass case near the front of the store and left him to tend to the male things I left behind on a table.

I always found this store a treasure of costumes and I wasn’t disappointed a bit since it simply holds a lot more in store than you could imagine from the store front. Besides scary and fairy tale costumes for kids, and ball gowns and evening jackets, it also boasted a collection of trinkets and accessories that was sure to enhance whatever look you wished to.

After selecting what I thought would be a nice companion to the gowns I’d chosen, I left him to do the negotiating and went out of the store to get us some drinks. Shopping was after all thirsty work.

When I got back to the shop, he was nowhere to be found. I guessed he must have gone looking for me. Without any plans in mind, I settled on a nearby bench and took a long drink of iced tea. It always seemed logical to stay on the place where you were last seen. I settled down for the wait and people-watched. The store seemed to get a good many customers as October approaches. A number of shoppers seemed to frequent the decorations department of the department store and I could almost feel that Christmas would soon be knocking on my doorstep.

I was lost in thought when a relieved voice exclaimed.

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. Where in the world did you run off to?” Zack seemed winded and a little annoyed.

“Just went and bought us some drinks.” I replied serenely, handing him the iced tea that had lost all its ice, failing to keep a teasing smile off my face.

“Julia, is that you?”

Chapter 15

The smile froze on my lips. I know that voice. And somehow, I felt that my body had taken over. I watched detached as it turned towards the sound of the voice and formed a smile as it blurted out, “AA, nice to see you” as acknowledgment. The greeting was courteous yet lacking the warmth it once held. Outwardly, I looked calm and composed, inwardly, I felt the urgent need to hide and get out of here.

“Julia, you look…” a slight pause, “well.” He scrutinized me from head to toe, as if to see if I had changed over the course of a few months since he last laid eyes on me.

“You look well too.” I said in the same courteous tone. It was then that I noticed a woman lurking behind him. She was dressed in three-piece business suit with the skirt ending mid-thigh. Her hair was brushed in such a way that it framed her oval face perfectly. Her make-up flawless, I spy that her nails were well-groom as it rested possessively on his shoulder. “And who might you be?” I directed the questions to the woman who was studying me with some disdain.

“Elisa Milan.” She had the air of one who believed herself to such a huge prize.

“Julia Lang, nice to make your acquaintance.” I extended my hand and waited for her to make a move.

She looked at my hand as if it was some filthy thing out to take her boyfriend away judging by the way she tightened her grip on his shoulder. Hesitantly, she grasped my hand briefly and pulled away.

I felt rather than saw that Zack had stood slightly behind me, offering his strength without knowing it. “And this is my boss, Zack Ortega. Allen Arenas, my…“ I almost blurted out ex-boyfriend. The woman was already eyeing me badly; spitting that out would call for trouble. “friend.”

AA eyed Zack with renewed interest. Zack was after all standing guard over me, as some sentry. “I see. But tell me, isn’t it office hours right now?” he asked pointedly, his eyes still on Zack.

“Well yes of course. In fact, we’re doing some work right now. We just stopped for a short break before getting back into work.” I didn’t know why I felt compelled to explain my actions to him since he was in the same situation as me. “What about the two of you?” I tossed the question back.

“We’re just thinking of grabbing an early lunch.” He mumbled, his eyes hardly glancing my way as he continued to peruse the man with me.

“I think we better get going.” Elisa softly but firmly tried to drag AA away but he hardly budged a muscle.

“Is there anything you want? Your girlfriend want to be on your way.” I said pointedly, my arms crossed across my chest.

“Tell me the truth. We’ve always been honest with each other, who is he in your life?” I was stunned by the fierceness in his voice and fury in his eyes when it finally settled on me.

I involuntarily took a step back and I felt Zack’s hand caught me at the shoulders. “What are you talking about? He’s my boss. That’s all there is.” I protested, feeling my voice getting a bit high-pitched.

“If he’s just your boss, how come he’s being so familiar with you?” If he was just seething a moment ago, he’s now very much furious. But for the all time we spent together, I’ve never seen him this angry and it frightened me too much that I started to tremble.

“Why are you being so insistent? He’s my boss and a friend. Isn’t that enough? You lost the right to act like that when you let me go.” I desperately tried to fend off my fear. His eyes were full of cold fury and his rage was etched in every part of his being. I shivered from it and I felt Zack’s hand tighten his grip.

“She’s right you know. You don’t have the right to get angry at her. And what makes you so sure that she’s lying to you?” he asked calmly, moving slightly to my side but without moving his hands away from where they rest.

“I’m talking to her not to you. And what right do you have to interfere with our discussion?” His voice was booming, drawing the attention of the shoppers.

“As you heard, I’m her friend and I don’t like the way you’re treating her.” I could feel the anger in him close to the surface. I placed a hand on his elbow and shook my head slightly.

“Oh yeah? What are you planning to do about it then?” he was obviously not ready to listen to anyone, even the woman who had turned hysterical at his side, desperately clutching at his shirt, trying to drag him away.

“Well, there’s a number of ways I could dispose of you, but I prefer not to act upon them.” He turned to me with a wicked smile that unsettled me. “Looks like it’ll be hard to convince him about us otherwise. He’s tougher to convince than the people in the office so let’s just drop this charade and show him what’s what.”

Before I could act on his words, he turned me to face him and kissed me with such passion that I felt my knees began to weaken. It brought to mind the other time in his car, the pressure of his lips and the realization that he might be playing me, and the fear returned, stronger than ever. He supported me with an arm across my back and I felt myself start to respond to the deepening kiss. My mind began to loosen its hold on the fear that had made me push him away inside his car and ran away.

He broke the kiss with his eyes expressing surprise, and it couldn’t be possible, but yes, desire. He straightened up and faced AA again, his arm still supporting me as I trembled still, but now for a different reason. I held on to his arm and turned to face the man who had brought this entire event into taking place.

AA looked totally aghast. His mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, without making a sound. He must be too numb to feel that his girlfriend had stopped trying to drag him away and took off on her own.

“Well, with your curiosity satisfied, we better go.” he said in a satisfied manner, herding me towards the parking lot amidst the gawking on-lookers.

We drove away in silence. I didn’t see where we’re going despite the fact that I kept my eyes trained on the road. My mind kept flitting back to what happened in his car before and the kiss that took place in the mall. Both we’re different yet evoke the same response in me. I admit it; I’m scared as hell on the way I reacted to his kisses. In fact, meeting AA again hadn’t been as painful as I expected it to be. Maybe I’m healing, moving on, getting over him and I really hate to consider the alternative that I might be halfway in love with my boss. That would definitely be out of the question. Sure, he’s nice, good-looking, a great kisser and had been my savior one too many times, but he’s also a player, arrogant and presumptuous, a man used to getting his way. Not exactly someone I’d look for in a boyfriend.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” I asked, startled out of musings.

“About what happened back there. I just couldn’t sit back and watch him scare you like that. Is he really your ex?” I could tell that this was the question that bothered him the most, although I couldn’t exactly figure out how I know.

“I’ve never seen him like that before. He was always so calm and resent confrontation scenes like that, and yet…” I let my hands fall on my lap. I couldn’t find the words to express what took place.

“How long have you been together?” it was a legitimate question. A little nosy maybe, but seeing as how he did rescue me, even though I didn’t approve of his method, I owe it to him.

“Fourteen months. I thought it would eventually lead to something more serious. Guess I was ahead of myself.” I said lightly.

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

I look at him startled. He was as fierce as AA but yet, I didn’t even feel a twinge of fear. “Maybe, maybe not. But it’s done and over with, so let’s just leave it at that.” I shrugged casually, setting my sights back on the road. The tumult of emotions earlier had subsided and I felt as good as I did when I literally forgot about the fact he had kissed me some nights ago because I was having way too much fun selecting gowns.

“In that case, let’s have lunch. I’m starved.”

“Let’s.” I agreed, suddenly feeling what my stomach had been trying to tell me for the past half hour.

Chapter 16

We didn’t talk about the incident ever since then and went out of her way to keep everything light between us. I guess some people noticed that we hadn’t gone into another heated argument, but that didn’t mean everything was smooth. Sure, we still argue a lot, except it was always now related to the ongoing preparations for the Halloween Ball.

I sat in my cubicle and was typing out a myriad of responses since I have a lot less time to check on my e-mails, much less my letters that Lia took it upon herself to type out the letters in her free time and send it to me, when Janie came over.

“Can I talk to you?” she asked, frowning a little.

“I guess. I’ll just be a minute.” I replied my curiosity piqued. It wasn’t everyday your best friend decided to pop into your office without a good reason. As I was concluding my reply, I searched my mind for possible causes that had sent her to talk to me urgently. “I’m done.” I said, after the screen declared message sent and I logged off. “Let’s head for the coffee shop downstairs to talk.” I invited.

“That would be fine. I think I’m going to need some coffee myself.” She replied with a weak smile.

We took the elevator downstairs; all the while without sharing a word despite the fact we had the elevator all to ourselves, a rarity if there ever was one in a company this big.

Sitting across from each other much in the same way as the first time I saw them enter the building last month, with a chocolate frappe in front of me and a cappuccino in front of her, we began to talk.

“Are you sure that you’re not going out with Zack?” Janie asked me pointedly.

“Positive. Besides, he’s a player, everyone keeps hinting at that, and you know I’m not interested in a relationship right now. Not after what AA had gone and done.” I explained a little exasperated. “And why would suspect that?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“How many times had he kissed you?” Janie wasn’t wavering from her line of thought.

“Now what did that have to do with anything?” That was a question I never expected I’ll have to answer.

“Some. Now stop avoiding the question. How many times did he kiss you?”

“Three.” I replied in a small voice. I swore Janie could have been my mother in another lifetime.

“And when did the last kiss happened?” she continued her interrogation.

“You’re making me feel like I’m on a trial here.” I said, letting some of the annoyance I felt show in my voice. “The time we went reserving gowns for the Halloween Ball.”

“Okay.” she replied thoughtfully, her face screwed up.

“Now it’s my turn to ask. Why in the heck did you decided to interrogate me like this?” I fought to keep my voice as normal as possible.

“Why indeed? AA had been bothering me for awhile now, saying he wants you back.” She paused as if to study my reaction. It was news to me and perhaps the surprise I felt showed caused she seemed satisfied with my reaction to continue. “Apparently, seeing you being kissed by some other guy made him realized how much he loves you. Because I had no idea what he was talking about, it took me awhile before I got the whole story out of him.”

“Oh. I see.” If there were something I was expecting out of this conversation, it definitely wasn’t that. I thought it somehow leaked out that we shared a passionate kiss in the mall a few weeks past and the women vying for his attention had started to act hostile towards me, not that I hadn’t noticed that some women did become hostile with me.

“Tell me, what sort of kiss was it?”

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believed I heard right. Sure, we talked about practically anything under the sun, and we sometimes discuss this, but never had she asked me this bluntly.

“I guess you couldn’t get why the heck I’m asking you that. Let’s just say I plan to keep AA away from you by making sure that he believed whatever he told him and stay away. I need to have an idea how serious a claim did he make.” She was getting a little embarrassed herself if the color in her cheeks was anything to tell by.

“In that case, well, I guess you could say it was passionate.” I could feel my face heating up as the memory unfolded itself. I tried to keep myself from thinking about it and being forced to remember it exactly wasn’t helping me any better to understand what I exactly felt at that time. “Um… how can I describe it? It happened too fast. One minute I was all for running away, the next minute he was there beside me telling AA that we’re together in secret. The next thing I knew I was in his arms and he was kissing me in a possessive manner, much different from time he took me home from the restaurant. It was quite demanding and yet gentle, I think he was shocked at himself too after he pulled away.” I recounted. I looked at her and found her smiling at me in a knowing way. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Not by the least. You just confirmed what we all thought.” She gave a wave of her hand and when turned to look at where she was waving at, I found the rest of girlfriends at the next table, all sharing that Cheshire cat grin. “I thought you’d known that you’re in love with him, but the way you kept running away from him made us wonder otherwise.”

“It seems to us that we don’t have to worry about AA worming his way back into you life with Zack around.” Mary Beth said happily.

“You really should become a lemon writer. You’re good at describing that kiss.” Aya put in her two cents worth of comment. She was referring to the fact that writers in the fanfiction world refer to sensual stories as lemon stories.

“It also means that you’re back on a healthy lifestyle.” Hannah stated with satisfaction. “Love can do that to you.”

“Hold on a minute. Who mentioned anything about love? Who’s in love?” they’re confusing me with their words.

“You are. You’re just too scared to admit it.” Janie said.

We spent the afternoon hip deep in the preparations. Unlike other companies who didn’t held dances, or held them in the middle of November, O Company held theirs a few days before the thirty-first of October, preferably on the twenty-seventh.

“Ms. Lang, the invitations had arrived. I’ve placed them on your table.” A young intern poked her head in the ballroom.

“Thanks Brian.” I called out, putting the finishing touches in one of the columns that would adorn the big room. The building was designed very much in the same way some New York buildings are, with a ballroom for office functions.

I left the room and headed downstairs when Zack caught up to me. ”I’ll help you carry them up.” He offered.

“It’s no big deal. I can handle them myself. Besides, they might need you to climb the ladders up again. The sashes had arrived late after all.” I brushed his offer away lightly.

He cast me a torn look before going back the way he came.

I felt a mixture of relief that he left and disappointment that he didn’t insist on staying. I guess the words Janie and the rest had said earlier stayed with me, making me feel every bit as confuse as ever. I knew I needed some time alone to sort out my feelings, but with the day fast approaching, there’ll be no time for that.

I reached my cubicle and found two boxes next to the entrance. Grabbing a stash of red candles, a matchbox and the custom-made seal from my drawer, I placed them in shoulder bag and hoisted one of the invitation boxes. I made my way back up to the ballroom and deposited my package at the anteroom next to the ballroom. I went back for the second box and found him with one of the invitations in his hand when I got back.

“Nice. Look very formal and old-fashioned.” He remarked studying the gold-edged parchment with the beautiful calligraphy announcing the invitation to wine and dine at the O Company Halloween Ball. He held up the matching envelope and eyed me quizzically when he found the tongue to be bare of any glue. “How were you planning to seal this?”

I placed the box next to its brother and opened my bag. I took out the candles, matchbox and triumphantly brandished the seal, “The old fashion way. With wax and seal.” I said with relish.

Zack caught my hand and studied the seal I’ve been waving around and studied it. “Where did you get this?” he asked in wonder.

“I had it made. You did say do my best. And besides, you’re going to reimburse me for my trouble so I went all out. Now, if you have no questions left, I’m getting back to work.” I snatched it away from him. Lighting the wick in a oil base candle, I opened one of the plastics holding the red candles and lined them up next to me. I placed the seal at the end of the candle row and took some of the letters and envelopes. Folding them carefully, I slipped them inside the envelopes, readily named at the back, and closed the lip. With deft hands, I grabbed one of the candles, thrust the butt in the fire and let it melt for awhile before letting it drip at the end of the lip where it met the rest of the envelope. Waiting for it to dry a bit, I grabbed the seal and pressed it there, waiting until the wax hardened before easing the seal away.

All through this, he watched me with fascination. He studied the writings in the envelope, the procedure it took to seal them, and yet he maintained his silence.

I passed him the finished in invitation and waited to hear his comments.

“Well, I must say I never thought of that. But, it would be better if you do it like this.” He took another envelope, waited until I stuck an invitation inside, grabbed the candle I’ve been using and took a lighter out of his pocket. He positioned the butt about two inches away from the envelope and melted it with the lighter in his hand. Wordlessly, he asked for the seal. I handed it to him as I watched him carefully mimicked my actions earlier. “There. All done. That wasn’t so hard.” He said with a childish grin.

“Right. Only one problem. The reason I didn’t used a lighter is because it’s much more expensive. You have to use about a truckload of lighters just to finish a box.” I said informatively. I couldn’t get myself to burst his childish delight. I grabbed another invitation and set to work.

“I’ll handle the expenses so it’s no problem at all.” He said a little sulkily, his hands reaching for another invitation, mimicking how I fold the letters and waited a little impatiently for the seal to be passed to him.

“If you love doing this so much, I’ll leave this to you. I have some work I need to catch up on.” I smiled after we’d been at it for half an hour. I stood up and left him engrossed in sealing envelopes, secretly wondering if he planned to work on it the whole night since it wouldn’t be done in a day.

Chapter 17

I got to the office the next day still sleepy. I was up nearly the whole night finishing my replies to all of the e-mails I received for the day. I grabbed a cup of tea on my way up and managed to find my way to the cubicle.

I hadn’t even drank half a cup when Mary Beth came bustling in. She looked quite harass that I forced myself to attend to her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked with a frown.

“It’s Zack. He’s not here.” Mary Beth was near hysterics.

“Maybe he’s still at home.” I suggested.

“No, he isn’t. I already called his home and they said he didn’t come home last night. What’s more, he didn’t even call to tell them he wouldn’t be coming home.” Mary Beth was obviously panicking.

“He’s a grown man; he could take care of himself.” I tried to reason with her.

“I know that, but an important meeting we’ll be starting soon and if he’s not here by then, we’ll all be in trouble.” She almost wailed.

“Okay, okay, let’s go look for him.” I offered. I downed my cup in a gulp and felt it burned the back of my tongue. I stood up and grabbed my bag. “What time’s the meeting?”

“It’s at ten. We only got about half an hour left.”

“Okay, let’s split up. He might be around here somewhere. You take the lower floor and work your way up. I’ll work my way down.” I took control of the situation since Mary Beth was too worried to make any plans.

I found him in the room where I left him yesterday. He was fast asleep with his head resting on an arm. I shook him awake when I managed to arranged the fallen envelopes and the cartons of take-out to the side.

“Wake up, sleepy head. This is not the time to got to sleep you know.” I teased him, trying to figure out a way to wake him up quickly. I tried shaking him but he slept on, so I tried tickling him, but I lucked out because this man didn’t have a ticklish bone in his body. I had already decided to forego the water since I’m not sure if he got a blow dryer in his office. Without any ideas left, I placed my mouth close his ear and gave a hair-raising scream.

He bolted awake looking around for any sign of trouble.

I couldn’t help it, I doubled up in laughter. He shook his head and tried to focus on me.

“What’s going on?” he began slowly, rubbing his eyes.

Weak from laughter, I placed my hand on his shoulder for support. “Trouble, if you don’t get your butt prepared for your important meeting.” I managed to gasp out while trying to catch my breath.

“What time is it anyway?” he asked a lot more alert.

“It’s nine-thirty. You’ve got thirty minutes to freshen up so get to it.” I ordered, releasing his shoulder when I’m sure I got the strength back on my legs.

He stood up inches from me and I was once again transported to the time I first met him. I forgot how much intimidating his height was up close in the half-light. He’s even more attractive with his hair tousled by sleep and whiskers casting shadows on his strong chin. I took an uncomfortable step back, the laughter leaving my eyes. “Well then, I guess I better paged Mary Beth and tell her you’re found.” I could have kicked myself for sounding husky just then.

Before I get into myself into any more trouble, I turned to leave. He grabbed hold of my arm and I turned to face him slowly. “Yes?” I said casually, lightly, schooling my features to look as I had before he stood up.

“How did you know I’d be here?” he asked, his eyes hidden in the shadows of the unlit room.

“Well, I had a hunch you might have decided that you’d finished the whole invitations.” I shrugged.

“I see. Is that all?” he sound a bit disappointed, but I couldn’t be sure.

“Yes. What’s wrong?” I frowned.

“Nothing. Let’s just get out of here.” He walked ahead of me towards the door, his hand leaving my arm only to grasp hold of my hand.

I hadn’t seen him since then but I couldn’t shut my mind from thinking about him and wondering why he seemed disappointed. It felt strange since I had been able to push him out of my mind easily a lot of times before, but now, I felt like I need to know more about him.

I tried to keep my mind on what I was doing and knew that I failed when I burned my fingers once again. I dropped the candle once again on the newspaper I had placed to protect the table and sucked at my finger.

“You should be more careful you know.”

I turned around and saw him leaning against the door. Apparently, he had kept suits for emergency in his office and he did have a blow dryer and a shaving kit in his personal bathroom. Refusing to comment on that jibe, I decided to ask him about something else. “How did the meeting go?”

“Good. Mary Beth was pretty ecstatic about the results.” He straightened and made a beeline for the chair he vacated in the morning. “You’d think grandfather had left the company to her instead of me.”

“What do you mean by that?” I forgot all about the candle and turned to him.

“Didn’t you know? Mary Beth and I are cousins. In fact, she could get a higher position in the company but prefer to be my assistant. We didn’t have any siblings so she ended up following me around like her big brother or something and I guess I started treating her as a little sister because of that.” He explained.

“How come she introduced you as her boss instead of her cousin?’ I remembered Mary Beth the night I met Zack.

“Well, simple. She didn’t want to make others think that the only reason she gets a lot of favors was because we were related. In fact, she worked her butt for those favors. There you have it.” Zack concluded.

“Oh, I see. That’s why she kept saying that you two aren’t an item.” I said absently, grabbing hold of the candle once again.

“Did she really say that to you?” he asked leaning a bit forward.

“Yeah, although I have no idea why she had to be so defensive about it, I’ll believe her anyway cause she’s my friend.” I grabbed another stack of invitations to do. “Thanks to your effort yesterday and even last night, we only got a few more of these to seal then we’ll be able to deliver them by late this afternoon.” I turned to him and smiled.

“Hey Julia?” he began thoughtfully.

“Yes?”

“Do you have a date yet?” He asked a little embarrassed.

“Not yet, why? Is it a requirement to come with a date?” I frowned as I continued working.

“Not really. But how come you don’t have a date yet?”

“Funny you should ask that. To tell you the truth, I’m kind of wondering about that myself. It’s not like I hide the fact that I’m available. Or maybe I should wear a sign above my head that said I’m available, that might catch someone’s attention.” I chuckled at the thought.

“Then would you consider going with me?” he cleared his throat.

“Sure. That would be great. Thanks for asking.” I faced him and smiled. He’s not such a bad person after all.

Chapter 18

The white satin dress fitted perfectly. The neckline was deep but not deep enough to make me blush. The folds of the skirt fell nicely over my legs, the hem dancing around my ankles. The corset had been modified to allow the use of brasseries that weren’t common in the era where the dress design originated. The bustle was something else. It’s funny how people in that era felt the need to wear them to enhance their butt size. The gloves felt cool against my skin, and the sensation of it moving across my skin was very enticing. My hair was done up in such a way with ringlets falling which way, framing my face. The rhinestone pins they placed looked good when hit by the lights around, I felt as if my hair was glowing with its own light.

I’m one of the first women who got dressed up early since we still got to see to last minute details before the ball officially starts. Together with Janie and Aya, we went up to check on Hannah and Mary Beth who had decided to dress up a little later.

We first saw Hannah bustling around the buffet, checking the dishes and giving it her seal of approval. When she’s like this, there’s no way you could disturb her.

We left the ballroom and headed for the annex next door. Even before we reached the half-open door, we could already hear Mary Beth arguing with someone inside.

“Is everything okay Mary Beth?” Janie called before she pushed open the door and we all filed in.

“Yeah, everything’s perfect except that Zack refuses to wear jeweled cuffs that came with his costume.” She glared at him and realized his attention was elsewhere. She followed his gaze and realized we’re all in our costumes.

“Oh my god, you all look so gorgeous.” She clapped her hand over her mouth and glided forward. She fingered the filigree lace on Janie’s dress, the pearl-encrusted bodice on my dress, and the black lace constituting Aya’s choice. “You’ve outdone yourself in these choices Julia. They’re exquisite.”

“Well, if you don’t want to be left with the less than beautiful dresses that made up the choices we managed to prepare, I suggest you get dressed as well.” I said with a laugh.

We watched her leave the room and headed for the dressing rooms in the lower floor. As one, we turned back and laughed together.

“Give me your bags. I’ll take care of it.” Janie talked us into leaving our purses in the annex with the rest of the surplus from the decorations, saying that no one would even bother searching here since all they’ll see would be thrash.

“I’ll come with you.” Aya volunteered.

Before I could do it as well, I realized that Zack had moved from where he was standing. “May I say you look exceptionally beautiful tonight?” he gave a deep bow from the waist and I caught them snickering behind his back.

I gave him a deep curtsy and a heartfelt thank you despite the fact that I wanted to laugh at his manners and hide my embarrassment at his complement. He straightened up and I studied the way he looked. He looked like an English lord with his collars starched and his evening jacket neatly pressed, the tails falling a few inches short of his knees. His hair was slicked back away from his face and an immaculately white handkerchief was tucked in his breast pocket.

“You look quite as well, my lord.” I gave another curtsy and affected an English accent.

“But not as ravishing as you my dear.” He looked down on me and gave me one of his smiles. He offered his elbow and said quite courteously, “Shall we go?”

I straightened up and place a hand at the crook of his elbow, looked up to him and teasingly said, “Well said, my lord. However, you mustn’t forget that we have quite a few things to see to before the ball, do we not?”

“Right you are.” He sighed. Zack distanced himself from me and looked back at where Aya and Janie were trying to hold back their amusement. “Guess we better get to work before those two decides we’re worth watching than working.”

Abruptly, Janie and Aya turned back to sorting out souvenirs, though they both couldn’t stifle the smile that kept blossoming in their faces. We joined them on sorting it out and we managed to get it ready by the time Mary Beth came rushing in, a vision in pink ruffles. She’s emceeing tonight and was a little nervous.

We began to file out of the room and head for the ball room when Zack tapped me around the shoulder. I turned to face him and he motioned me over to a corner. Curious, I went to meet him there.

Shifting his weight from foot to foot, he struck me as nervous, which was unusual from what I had seen of him. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, um, I feel uncomfortable about this, but –“ he reached behind his back and brought out a boxed corsage and handed it to me. “ – you can give it back if you don’t like it.” He finished lamely.

I looked at the box in wonder and the man who looked a cross between acting uninterested and suppressing excitement. “Thank you. I don’t know what to say. This is the first corsage anyone had given to me.” I said softly, my eyes never leaving the delicate pink rose framed by a number of greens and baby’s breath held together by a light pink satin ribbon.

After awhile, he took it from my hands and tied it deftly on my wrist. Offering his elbow once again, he said softly, “Let’s go.”

The party was great. Everyone enjoyed the food and the décor. The light made everything look somewhat surreal, transporting everyone to the days when knee-length socks and kid boots were in fashion, and Almack’s was the most prestigious place of merriment with only a select number of guests allowed in. Aya had outdone herself selecting opera pieces and ballroom songs reminiscing of that century. She also managed to squeeze in surprise presentations like having me sing in front of the crowd. That was scary but it’s all worth it when Zack came over after it and said I was great up there.

Even though he was my date, we hardly spent much time together, him having to mingle and greet his employees and me and the gang having to make sure everything’s running smoothly. I still got the chance to dance with him even once and that had to be enough for me.

Because of everything that’s happening, I hadn’t had time for myself, let alone time to go to the bathroom. Based on the queasy feeling I got, I could swear I’m about to have my period.

When the chance presented itself, I made a beeline for the bathroom and had to face the fact that I would have to look for a pad. What luck that I had one in my bag. Now the problem is, how to keep it from staining my underwear too much before I manage to get hold of a napkin. Tissues were of course quite a pleasing substitute for a few minutes but how long would those minutes be with one to many guests stopping to engage in idle chitchat.

Reaching the door to the annex was like reaching the finish line on a cross-country race, not that I’m much of a runner. In my haste to get to my bag, I didn’t realize someone was in the room at all. It was an absolute shock to realize who were in the room when I suddenly barged in.

Zack was with a woman and they looked like they were doing something that I figured should be reserved for private rooms with locks on the door. I hated to sound censorious, but situations like this could reasonably leave a certain impression on people.

Zack pulled away from the woman when he caught sight of me entering and looked horrified. Although I’d like to think he had reason to be, that would only be me wanting to see something that isn’t there. He opened and closed his mouth as if he was about to say something yet thought better off.

With my face flushed, I went for an embarrass smile. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know anyone was here. I just need to get something from my bag and I’ll be on my way so you could continue what you were doing.” I waved my hands wildly as I hurriedly went straight for my bag. Grabbing the package and securing it within the many folds of my gown, I pirouetted and made my way back to the door, trying not to notice the woman trying to engage Zack in their intimate play.

I was at the door when I heard a crash. I turned sharply to see what happened and I saw the woman pouting on the floor, trying to hold on to him, while Zack tried to disentangle his legs from her insistent grip. I watched as if frozen in time as he managed to shake the woman off and came to stand in front of me.

With a desperate plea in his eyes, he grabbed hold of my arms and said, “It’s not anything like that at all. Believe me Julia, there’s nothing going on between me and Cindy.”

Chapter 19

The sun shining on my face woke me up. I turned to my other side and tried to get some more sleep. I refused to wake up to face whatever happened the night before but fate seemed to be against me. Try as I might, I couldn’t keep the thoughts that kept me awake half the night after I got home from rallying forth, vying for my attention.

With a sigh, I peered at my bedside clock and realized that it’s nine in the morning. Groaning, I forced myself to sit on my bed and let the thoughts take control for awhile, too tired to sort through them, too scared to find out what some of it meant.

I rubbed at my eyes with my fist, trying to soothe the soreness out of them. I didn’t want to read too much in the fact that I cried myself to sleep the night before. The events of the night kept repeating over and over in my head like a player looped for eternity.

He stopped me just before I had the chance to leave, to absorb what it could mean, to get over the shock of the scene that I had never expected, okay so maybe I did expect him to be like that cause he’s a playboy, not to mention the fact that I get way too emotional when I have my period. It was embarrassing enough running to that kind of scene, but it was even more embarrassing to have people saw us like that.

I steeled myself and faced him with a serene smile pasted on my face. “Look, it’s not my business what you do and I don’t think you need to cough up an explanation since we don’t have any commitment to each other.” I said in my most reasonable voice, my heart in pain. I managed to make a graceful exit as people were coming out to see what the commotion all about was because he had unconsciously raised his voice, calling the attention of many of the employees near the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, there are some things I still need to see to.” I left with as much poise and dignity as I could, keeping my face a tranquil mask as I lost myself in the crowd and headed for the bathroom.

I left shortly after that, telling Janie and the gang, who weren’t aware of what transpired next door, that I had a headache and would be going home to rest. Depositing my gown in the dressing rooms, I got back in my street clothes and sneaked back into the annex, thankfully empty at that time, grabbed hold of my bag and left stealthily, avoiding getting noticed by the people milling around the hall.

I would have probably driven around aimlessly if gas wasn’t so expensive. Without much plans, and my mind preoccupied, I went straight home. I threw my bag carelessly in the corner as soon as I reached the haven of my room and collapsed on the bed, without any care for the state of my clothes. I had looked forward to the weekend because it would provide rest, and now it would provide something more than rest; time to think, to reflect, to figure out what I really feel.

I rubbed at my eyes again and studied myself. My bag had landed on a pile of laundry so it would be safe to assume that my cellphone had not reached its doom. My clothes looked rumpled and a bit slept in, but otherwise, it looked passable. I got up and headed for the bathroom to study myself.

My eyes looked a bit puffy around the edges, my face slightly pale; there were slightly dark circles under my eyes. I looked like I had a fight with my boyfriend or a huge hang-over.

With a last look at my ghastly features, I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face, waking myself up fully. I patted my face dry and went back to my room. Taking a deep breath, I reached for my bag and took out my cellphone. There were several missed calls for him and messages asking me to give him time to explain. I let my phone fall back inside, his messages remaining unanswered.

I headed for the kitchen and opened my refrigerator, looking for something I could eat that I wouldn’t decide to throw up or pick on under the mood I’m in. In the end, I just selected a small can of fruit cocktail from the shelves above the fridge and went to look for a fork. Even though it’s healthy, it’s not good to eat it, without anything in your tummy, as breakfast. But I’m beyond caring at the moment.

I went back in my room, can in hand and proceeded straight for my computer. I opened the can and proceeded to fork out a healthy serving as I waited for my computer to boot up. As much as possible, I kept my mind blank; refusing to even let a single thought enter the blessed oblivion that had taken over.

I logged on to my website and checked my inbox. The usual number of e-mails fills it to the brim and I’m just lucky they had managed to spruce it up a bit and provide me with a bigger storage space. I run down my e-mails and read and replied systematically until I spot a familiar sender: ZONE.

I remember him specifically since he was such a sweet guy with a past that spoke volumes of how he interacted with females. He struck me as a sincere and romantic person that hadn’t had the chance to find love and instead had enjoyed the attention the women had lavished on him. I was happy to hear he was doing well with getting the girl of his dreams to view him differently that it was quite surprising that he had written again.

With a frown, I moved my pointer to his e-mail and clicked it open.

Dear Love Guru,

You’re probably surprise to hear from me again after I had given you the news that everything was going well. In fact, I’m not even sure what to do anymore. You were right in saying that my past would eventually catch up with me and if I’m not careful, this would lead to her leaving me. I was going to propose to her tonight but something happened and she saw me with another woman kissing.

I wasn’t even aware that this was going to happen. No warning at all and one of my ex showed up saying she wanted to talk and the next thing I knew she was all over me. I tried to explain to the woman of my dreams but she brushed my explanations of. When I finally got rid of my ex, she was nowhere to be found. I tried texting her and calling her, but she never replied or answered my calls, and the only thing I haven’t done was go to her home.

I’m worried about her because I know how hard it was when she was dumped by her ex. I want to tell her everything, clear everything up and hope she’ll forgive me and give me a chance to prove that I love her and there’s no one else for me. I know I’m getting a little corny, but that’s how deep my feelings for her are. I don’t know what to do anymore, so please, for the last time, help me.

ZONE

My heart went out to him. I could somehow relate to how the girl would be feeling right now because I felt like we’re on the same boat. But he sounded really sincere and I wished him the best of luck that despite the fact that I’m hurting the most at the moment, I let the thoughts of how I would like Zack to ask for forgiveness or explain what happened last night flow unhindered.

Feeling a lot more confident of how ZONE could woo his love back, I clicked reply and hope to God that he’s going to win her heart.

Dear ZONE,

I’m sorry to hear what happened between the two of you and of course I’ll help you. I think what she needs now most is time. Give her time to reflect about what happened. Judging from what you said, you haven’t told her yet how you feel about her, and that also means that you have no idea how she felt about you. It could also mean she had no idea what she felt about you.

I could tell that you’re really serious about her since you wrote to me. In fact you told me a lot about her that I feel like I almost know her myself. It’s okay to be worried about her but I feel she’s made of a lot of sterner stuff and when she’s ready, she’ll listen to you. Don’t rush her. Try to see it from her point-of-view and just observe how she’ll interact with you after the incident. Tune in to how she feels, and try to gauge when she’s ready to hear your explanation.

Aside from this, I’m not sure what else to say. Only time and your perseverance would tell if you’ll win her back.

Yours,

Love Guru

Chapter 20

On Monday morning, I went back to the office with some semblance of resolve. As soon as I clocked myself in and left my things in my cubicle, I headed for Lia’s office. It took awhile to get there with friends and colleagues stopping to chat a bit and gushed about the success of the party, but I finally reached her office.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked and called out. I opened the door when I heard her consent and closed it firmly behind me. Before I was even able to take another step towards the vacant chair in front of her table, she was out of her seat and hugging me.

“I am so happy you’re here.” She exclaimed as soon as she let go of me. “I still can’t believe that Steve from the publishing branch was in love with me. We got together on Friday night and spent the whole weekend together. He was so hot and nice, and he’s definitely into me. Gosh, you should have seen the bouquet he sent me this morning. It was huge…”

I let her chattered on as she led me to sit down before her. When we were once again, face to face, it must have been that she realized I looked serious, filled with purpose.

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?” she asked with concern replacing her earlier elation. “Wait,” her eyes grew big with horror, “don’t tell me you like Steve?”

I let out a half-hearted chuckle at that. “No, that’s not it.”

Lia let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. If that’s not the problem, what’s wrong? You look so serious.”

Well, here goes nothing. “I have a pitch to you. I’ll be leaving in a month’s time for an indefinite stay with my family in the States. My mom had been begging me to come and stay with them for awhile and I think Christmas would be the best time to do it.” I began.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Lia interrupted disbelief clearly in her voice. “Hold on, did this decision have anything to do with Zack?”

“No. It’s my own choice; he has nothing to do with it.” I confirmed.

“Then, okay. What’s your pitch?” Lia went back to all-business, setting aside her questions for later. She leaned back in her chair, exuding authority from her position behind the desk, and the casual but confident way she carried herself.

“I would like to compile the letters I received and my replies to them in a book. I believe it wouldn’t only be beneficial for the company; it would also benefit those people dealing with the same problems. Moreover, the letters that had not been published in the magazine would be seen in print in this propose book. So what do you think about it?” I waited for her reply hardly daring to breathe. Even though I know I did well with my pitch since it’s not lengthy and exhausting, but compact and to the point, I would really hate to be turned down.

“I think it’s a great idea.” She said slowly. “Although I do wonder why you only told me this idea now, you’ve been here for five to six months and even before that had replied to quite a number of letters for two years.”

“I was going to suggest that last month but you had me assigned to take care of the Halloween ball preparations.” I said wryly.

“Oh, that’s why you came to my office when you did. Anyway, I think it’s a great idea, although I feel sad to hear that you’re leaving us, even if it’s only for awhile.” Lia said sadly.

“Even though I might be on the other side of the globe, I could still continue being Love Guru you know. I could still send you the letters through your e-mail. I’d just be leaving my job as a magazine writer, but not as your advice columnist.” I kidded around, hoping to get her off the mood she’d fallen into. I stood up and extended my hand to her. I wanted my last month here to be as normal as possible.

Lia followed my lead and stood up as well, going around her desk and shaking my hand. “I’m sure going to miss having you here though. Stay in touch.” I could see she was trying to fight back tears.

I laughed to ease the gloomy mood in her office. “I’m here yet so relax okay? We still got a month to go, and since we’ll be working on this book in secret, I could really appreciate Steve’s help. I wouldn’t mind letting him on our secret.” I told her.

“What secret?”

As one, we turned towards the door and saw no other than Steve Morales coming in with two tall Starbucks cups. He looked curiously from one to the other, probably wondering why we were gaping at him.

“Don’t you knock? I thought I told you that we have to be professional when we’re in the office.” Lia went a bit panicky.

I grabbed hold of Lia’s arm and told her to calm down and asked Steve to close the door behind him and make sure no one’s out there to hear us.

We told him everything and after we were through filling him in on the details, he let out a low whistle. “Wasn’t seriously expecting that. Did you know I had you pegged as a guy? Anyway, I like where this is going and don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take care of my end so make sure you do yours. I’ll make sure we’d be able to release this before you have to leave.”

November was indeed a busy month. As it is, working for a magazine, you’d learn that the month before the Christmas issue is due to come out is the busiest as every time available was spent on making this Christmas issue bigger and better than last year’s. It wasn’t hard to avoid Zack since I spent all of my free time working on the book.

We had advertised the launching of the book in the November issue and the enthusiastic replies we got from readers was more than enough encouragement to go ahead with the project. In fact, I was quite busy continuing with my work, replying to e-mails and working on the book that I hardly had time to think about anything anymore and that was such a blessing in disguise for me.

By the middle of the month, it had spread out that I’d be leaving at the first week of December, and they sort of acted like I thought they would. Some wanted to give me a going-away party or present, others wanted me to bring them something back as souvenirs when I get back, while few couldn’t care less if I go or not.

The gang often visited me at the office and we spend time in the coffee shop when I find myself with some time to spare and just hang-out, each not wanting to address that our number would soon be depleted. At times like this, Mary Beth usually tries to bring up Zack’s name in the conversation and as always, I gave her a noncommittal answer. It didn’t escape my notice that at odd times of the day, I received sweets and sometimes flowers in my cubicle. Even though it was anonymously sent, I knew they were from Zack, but the man never showed his face even once and Mary Beth had decided to inform me, without regard whether I’m interested or not to know, that he had to fly to some other part of the country for an emergency situation in one of his dad’s company and would be gone indefinitely.

My weekdays had been filled to the brim with work, and there were times my weekends had been too. The hardest parts of the day rested on the time before I fall asleep. It was then the thoughts that I had avoided to think about began to take hold. It was in one of the nights like this that I finally admitted to myself that I’m in love with Zack.

Yes, despite everything I’ve done to avoid this situation, I had fallen in love with him. The dull ache in my heart was proof as that as well as the intense longing and misery I felt throughout that month. I’m grateful that instead of bothering me, he had given me time to think things through. Maybe someday I would be ready to hear his explanation, but right now, all I want to do was get everything I need done before I leave. Right now, I didn’t have time for tears, for sad farewells, for moping, and least of all for the searing pain that’s bound to consume me as soon as I leave.

The restless nights had brought me nothing, not the mindless hole I wanted to sink in, not the dreams I yearned to form, but sleep that gave neither rest nor relaxation.

Chapter 21

The month was almost up and the book had managed to meet its self-imposed deadline and my workload had become considerably lighter. Little by little, I had begun to pack my things that made my cubicle a reflection of me and my presence in this company. Some knick-knacks here and there had been safely stored away in my closet at home. Despite leaving indefinitely, it would have been better to rent my place out, but I rather leave it the way it always was so when I come back, it would seem I have never left at all.

I was once again using what little free time I got to check on my homepage and reply to the e-mails. I frowned as I saw another e-mail from ZONE. He worries me, that guy, because he’s capable of loving so intensely and yet oblivious on how to express it. Chewing on my bottom lip, I opened his latest news and began to read.

Dear Love Guru,

I suppose you’re wondering what’s up once again. Can’t be helped since I have no idea what’s up myself. I just got back from a business trip and I decided that I would propose to her as soon as I see her. Of course, I’m still going to explain to her, but I’m quite scared that I haven’t given her enough time yet.

Even though I was away on business, I made sure that I made her feel that I want to talk to her, be with her, and that I’ll come back for her. I had my cousin do it for me and I haven’t talked to my cousin yet about what she did because I was so excited to let you know about what I decided that my computer was the first thing I touched as soon as I got home. Anyway, I’m on my way to see her now. Wish me luck.

ZONE

I must have cracked my first real smile in a month. Don’t get me wrong, of course I was ecstatic when I saw the end product of our hard work, but feeling genuinely happy had been far from my moods of late. I’m happy for the both of them, man and woman alike since I felt that they would make it if what he told me about her was accurate. I clicked reply, wishing them the best of everything.

Dear ZONE,

I’m happy to hear that and I do hope she’ll say yes. I have nothing else to say to you since I believe you have done the right thing. Now everything rests on her. If my hunch is right, I think she feels the same way. Good luck.

Yours,

Love Guru

I was still smiling as I scrolled down and methodically read and replied to each e-mail until I reached a strange e-mail. Opening it and reading its contents felt like déjà vu.

Dear Love Guru,

Hi. I’m Diana Roces, host of the TV talk show Diana Dares, and I would like to invite you to talk about your book and how it felt to be the famous Love Guru, love doctor extraordinaire. I would like it much to get to know the face behind the name as I’m sure the whole archipelago would be curious to know. However, I would respect your decision if you had decided to keep your identity a secret. But I have to tell you that a lot of people had been claiming to be the Love Guru trooping to our station.

Think about it.

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Diana Roces

Diana Dares host

BT Productions

I sat for a moment and reread what was in front of me. I couldn’t believe it. People trooping to studios claiming to be me? The whole Philippines wanting to know me? This is beyond anything I’ve expected.

I sat back on my chair and studied the note. It wouldn’t take a psychologist to know that she had intentionally mentioned that there were people claiming to be Love Guru. I wondered how I would feel if I found out that the person I thought to be an authority in love was nothing more than a woman way younger than me, supposing that I was one of the many people who had asked me for help. But then again, I thought back on the people telling me they wanted to thank me personally because I had just saved them from making the biggest mistakes of their lives, for encouraging them to fight for their love, to come to terms with what’s in their heart, to stop blaming themselves for events they had no control over. Would I disappoint them? Would they still feel that I’m worthy to give them advice after this?

I pondered these thoughts and then some before it occurred to me that it wouldn’t be fair to them if I keep my identity a secret forever. I chewed at my lower lip again and weighted the pros and cons of revealing my identity. Unable to come to a conclusion, I decided to ask Lia.

Standing up, preoccupied, I forgot to close the explorer and only succeeded in minimizing it. I headed straight for Lia’s office, oblivious to what my carelessness would cost me.

Chapter 22

“Well, to tell you the truth, I had been receiving plenty of invitations to have you on their show. I know I should have told you this before, but I felt it was part of my duty as your accomplice in keeping the identity of Love Guru.” Lia admitted after she heard me out quietly when I first burst into her office.

“I see.” It was all I could say as the thought of people asking for interviews overwhelmed me still.

“But now, the question is, are you ready and willing to do it?” she inquired, leaning her elbows on her desk. Her eyes full of understanding, yet there’s a hint of anticipation.

“I’m not sure. I feel like I owe it to my readers to know who’s behind the name. On the other hand, I’m scared of how it would affect them.” I said honestly, my mind still in turmoil.

“Then let me ask you this. Why did you become Love Guru in the first place?”

It seemed important to her to hear what I got to say even though I’m quite sure I told her all about it when we were just starting to become friends. “It was not something I had planned. It just happened. I was just toying around with making web pages and the next thing I know, I got three e-mails asking me for love advice. It started like that until the internet community had found my page and started asking me for advice. I know I could walk away from it, forget the problems I read about and the people who have them, but I wanted to help them, to give them hope. That’s why I went on being as the person they all know as Love Guru.” I finished, looking at her.

“If that’s how it is, I don’t see any problem that people would have violent reactions to you. Remember when I met you? I didn’t act as if you were someone I shouldn’t be trusting with my love life with since it would feel as if I should be handing you advices not the other way around. But see, this is where you’ll realize just how important you are to those who you helped along the way. It doesn’t matter if they think that it might be some kind of a joke that a woman as young as you turned out to be the person they had placed on a pedestal. The only one who could ever make you feel disappointed about yourself would be you. So what if they decided you’re not worth listening to, your works speak for you more than the way you look, how old you are, whether you had been in more than one relationship. Think about it and tell me if you want to do it or not. I’m not going to force you to do this because I know how important your privacy is to you.” Lia finished her impressive speech and I once again realized the reasons why she had been made the editor-in-chief regardless of the fact that there had been eligible writers to take the position who had been part of the company for years before she came.

I sat in silence for awhile and decided to stop thinking and go with what my gut had been telling me to do. “I’ll do it. You’re right; it’s not my problem if they don’t think I have what it takes. I didn’t set out to become the Love Guru, they made me one. If there’s anything to lose, it would be the number of letters to reply to.” I joked, feeling much better at achieving this decision. I got up and went around her desk and gave her a brief hug. “Thanks for helping me make up my mind. I better tell Diana that I’ll do it before I lose me nerve.” I smiled.

I went back to my cubicle feeling much better than I had when I first walked in to work today. I was composing my reply when I spied someone sitting on my chair.

Frowning, I moved in for a closer look. It was Zack and he looked furious from the way his shoulders were set. That surprised me since I haven’t seen him that night and I couldn’t help but wonder what could have caused his irritation this time of the day.

Approaching the entrance, I leaned my head in and said an uncertain hello. I had my feet braced for anything that might happen.

“So, how long have you been hiding this secret from everyone?” he asked coldly, turning to face me with deliberate slowness.

“What are you talking about? When did you get here?” I asked incredulously, standing at the entrance fully.

“Don’t kid me. How long have you been toying with me?” Zack stood up quickly, causing my chair to hit the table with a loud thud.

“What are you talking about? Toying with you? How so? I don’t get it at all. I’ve never done anything to you. I’ve been a kind and honest friend to you. What more do you want?” I asked more confused than ever. “What’s going on? I don’t get you at all. What makes you say that?” I couldn’t keep the tears from falling from my eyes because they’ve been so close to the surface for awhile now.

“Then what’s the meaning of this?” he pointed towards my computer screen.

I squinted through the tears and let out a small gasp. “What about it? So you found out about my other job here. But that still doesn’t explain what you’re talking about. So what if I kept it from you? I’ve kept it from Mary Beth, Janie, Hannah and Aya. The only one who knew about it from the first was Lia, and now Steve because he was taking care of the book. What more do you want to know?” I forced my voice to remain steady and low to keep from attracting more attention than we already have.

“Oh yeah? Is that the truth? Somehow, I never pictured you to be the one behind that. It seemed you don’t even realize the possibility that someone might be writing about you. Let me ask you one last thing, have you sincerely answered everyone who ever asked you for help?” he asked tightly.

“Of course I did. I always treat them like friends asking for help. I never once carelessly gave any advice to anyone. To your other jibe, I did thought of that possibility, but the possibility of that happening was so slim so why would I waste my time on wondering if each writer could be talking about me. In fact, people have no clear idea of my sex behind that name.” I explained puzzled, involuntarily taking a step back when he leaned down menacingly.

“Then maybe it’s time you read back on what you’ve written.”

After he left, I settled down, completely drained with a mixture of shock and righteous anger, on my chair. It had still some of his warmth left. And that thought made me cry anew.

I tried to muffle the sound by stuffing my fist into my mouth while I ruffled through my bag for some tissue. Taking deep breaths, I tried my hardest to calm down. Some of my office mates popped their heads in occasionally, but I waved them away, hopefully with ‘I’m okay’ composure.

I dried my eyes and faced the monitor, waiting until my teary eyes could finally focus on it. The letter from Diana Roces beckoned to me.

With trembling fingers, I quickly replied, my thoughts not entirely with the excitement involved in it. I was too confused and too hurt to do my job that I just log-out and closed my computer. I stood up and gathered the few things still left on my desk and dropped them inside my bag. I headed for the bathroom and scrutinized myself in the mirror.

I looked weary and forlorn. My eyes looked red and my skin looked clammy. My make-up a slight mess, but thankfully, my hair and dress didn’t looked the way I feel.

After splashing water on my face to cool my heated cheeks, I reapplied my make-up, doing my best to appear as fresh as if its morning. And then I headed out once again, reaching the decision to leave work day early. I’d done all that I need to work on, reached my deadlines, that there’s no reason for me to stick around after that scene.

I made my way back to Lia’s office, careful to keep my face averted, yet my chin up, to stop people from inquiring about what happened earlier. I bade her farewell and fought the tears as she gave me a fierce hug and cried as well.

That day, I walked out of the building without looking back, afraid that in doing so, I would forever tie myself down to the memories it evoke.

Chapter 23

I waited outside the studio for Lia. As soon as I got Diana’s reply, I got excited and understandably nervous that I asked Lia to come with me. It’s been a week since I left the office and severed my ties with the people that had been nothing more than acquaintances.

I fingered the sheet of paper in my pocket while waiting. Diana had indeed been thorough in making sure that she’s getting the real Love Guru on the show. She made me come a bit early for the taping with the letter printed out. I got here early as she wanted but she wouldn’t meet me. According to the make-up artist, she wanted to be kept in the dark of the identity of the Love Guru. The make-up artist was quite surprise to meet me himself, but he was definitely excited.

I checked my watch again and continued to wait. I let my mind wander away from the present and predictably, it traveled back to the day when I finally realized what he meant.

I was going through my e-mails, trying to piece together what he meant by that remark, when I noticed some things. I kept going back to what ZONE said in his letters and when I finally realized why it struck me so, I couldn’t help but gasped. I couldn’t believe my eyes and the misery I felt right then and there was such that I literally sank down to the floor. This dilemma usually happens on mangas, never in real life, so why in the world did I get stuck in this situation?

I thought a lot about it ever since then. I thought of how I could make it up to him, how to tell him that I love him, how to ease his pain and anger, but I came up zero. I didn’t know what to do and then I remembered the story I was writing before, the story that I couldn’t seem to end. I felt the same way Sheila must be feeling. The anxiety, the desire to do something, the fear… it was everything that made doing what I made my character do difficult if not hard.

I glanced on the road once again and tried to squash the impatience I’m starting to feel. The studio was only about a ten-minute ride from the office and I couldn’t help but wonder what could be taking her so long. I fiddled with my cellphone just to have something to do with my hands.

Without meaning to, I started to type I’m sorry and I couldn’t stop. I continued writing about how sorry I am and how stupid I was not to realize it was him, how sorry I am about this mess, how clueless I’ve been and I ended it by saying that I’m such a fool because I didn’t realize that I felt the same way. The next thing I knew, I sent it via e-mail and hoped to God he wouldn’t see it until I’m out of this country. I just couldn’t bear the thought that he’d reject me outright because of what happened.

“You look really tense staring at the phone like that. Are you planning to show the whole country that Love Guru is nothing more than a super serious woman who seemed more like a school marm than the carefree yet thoughtful individual who had been dishing out advice for all walks of life?”

I looked up startled to find Lia staring at me a bit sheepishly. “Sorry about being late. Steve wanted to come as well, but he got tied down. Zack had been in a grouchy mood ever since he arrived and I have a feeling something wrong must have happened. And from the way you’re looking, I think it has something to do with you so now spill.”

We walked together inside the stage door and headed for the make-up room where I told her that Zack found out it was me behind the name and that Zack was ZONE. As expected, she’s the perfect audience for she oohed and ahhed at the exact spots.

“Good morning and welcome everyone to Diana Dares. For today’s show, I have a special guest lined up for you today.” Diana Roces glided to the center of the stage and greeted her audience animatedly, her excitement evident in her smile and the way she was trying not to skip on stage. We watched at the sidelines waiting for my cue to come out on stage. Behind us, the whole crew was gaping at us ever since we walked out of the make-up room.

“Right now, in the studio’s dressing room is none other than the famous Love Guru. I’m sure you all heard about this mysterious person who had dished out advices from the internet before making his presence known in the magazines. And now, the whole Philippines wait on the edge of their seats, as we unveiled this mystery person behind the name.” Diana turned her back to the audience and took her place in front of one of the plushy arm chairs set up on the platform before the audience. “Before we unveiled this person’s identity, since I myself have no idea, how many of you believe this person to be a man?” About half the audiences raised their hands. “Okay, then that means the rest of the crowd thinks she’s a woman.” She gave an almost imperceptible nod when the director signaled her.

“The moment you’ve all been waiting for, Diana dares to present to you, the Love Guru.” Her voice boomed out the speakers next to us when she got to my alter ego.

Squelching panic and last second encouraging squeeze from Lia, I walked to the stage and pasted a smile on my face; although I’m pretty sure it looked uncertain and a bit sheepish, and took my place next to her, just as the floor director had briefed me earlier in the make up room.

“Oh my… we… welcome to our show.” Diana stammered but caught herself. Her eyes registered such a shock expression that it eased my tension a little. It seemed that I’m not the only one who felt nervous as hell. The audience gave their own expression of shock as they collectively gasped.

“Thank you.” I said a little shyly. The lights strung above made it hard to see the audience and I felt that was a good thing because I seriously didn’t want to know how many are out there right now.

“Well, of course, we need to prove you are the real Love Guru.” She turned back to her professional old self, cool and clever as ever.

“Of course.” I said as graciously as I could. I whipped out the letter from my pocket and handed it to her. She scanned it for a few seconds and had the camera crew zoomed in on it.

“There you have it everyone, we have the proof that this young woman in front of us all is indeed the mysterious Love Guru.” She turned to me and offered her hand. “It’s very nice to meet you, miss…”

“Lang. Julia Lang.” I supplied. “And I have to say I am very happy to be here, although a part of me wants to run away from here.” I joked as I shook her hand.

“Well, we couldn’t blame you for that since this is after all your first public appearance acknowledging your secret identity as the Love Guru.” She gestured for me to sit across from her and I did. “Now, first things first, how did you ever stumbled upon being the Love Guru?”

“By accident, that’s the only way to explain it.” I began. I looked at her for clues and when she gave a nod, I elaborated. “It was never my intention to become Love Guru in the first place. It just sort of happened. I was just fooling around with webpage building and it was just an idea to call it that. The next time I opened it, there it was, the first three e-mails that sent me down this road.”

“That’s definitely an unplanned course of action. Tell me, why did you decide to reply to those e-mails?”

“Hmm… I guess it’s because I could somehow relate to their problems. It’s natural to wonder about different situations one might find them in, and it takes a lot of courage to ask a stranger for advice. I usually placed myself in their situation and thought of how I would solve my dilemma. It’s a bit like role-playing. So I decided to take a chance and gave them an idea of role-playing and advice them as best as I could.” I began to relax more, almost forgetting the cameras and the audience murmuring among themselves.

“Seeing you as you are, I could understand why you find yourself being able to relate to most, if not at all, of your readers and letter writers. But tell me, if it’s not too embarrassing, how old are you?” Diana asked.

I have to say I realized why she was considered one heck of a talk show host and the implication behind the title of her show. She’s very sly in asking questions, daring to ask questions that other talk show hosts would balk at just the mere thought. “I’m twenty-four.” I smiled.

“Wow, really such a young age to have that kind of mature understanding that you’ve shown all of us who had read your columns.” I could tell she was quite impressed by the slight widening of her eyes and the way she leaned the tiniest inch closer. “And now, you have a book to top it all of. How does it feel to be so famous?”

“I… don’t know.” I couldn’t help but get all shy at that question. “Frankly, I’ve never thought of myself as someone famous. Just a nobody who had stumbled upon someone needing a bit of a helping hand.” I answered honestly. “Even now, it’s hard for me to believe that I’m actually sitting here in front of a live audience, and seen through TV, and not one of the viewers.”

She went on with the questions until it was time for a commercial break. Diana placed a hand on my arm and looked me in the eye while we wait for the director to signal the start of the program again. “I am so glad you accepted my offer and I can’t tell you how surprised and delighted I am at finally getting the chance to meet you. You have no idea how many lives you’ve touched with your honest answers not only in this show but also to all the letters that had been sent to you.”

“I’m glad that you think I’ve made a difference. I just hope coming out wouldn’t backfire on me.” I said a little worriedly.

“Well, it’s their loss. But for me, I’m more than happy to have met an extraordinary person like you.” I think she would have said more if it wasn’t for the fact that the director signaled us that commercial was over.

We picked up where we left off, discussing the content of the book and my work before and after joining SEN Magazine as events reporter.

“Wasn’t it hard to hide your identity and work secretly in magazine such as SEN?” Diana prodded a bit.

“I’m glad you asked that question because I would like to introduce you all to Ms. Amelia Lim, editor-in-chief of SEN Magazine and my accomplice in keeping my identity a secret.” I gestured Lia to exit the wings and enter the stage, and with some more prodding from the stage hands, she managed to leave the darkness of the wings and gone into the brightly lit set with a definite embarrass look on her face.

A stagehand had quickly added another seat to the set while the camera was trained at Lia, so she was able to sit comfortably next to me. Diana took all of this in stride and I could tell that Lia started to relax as Diana asked her about her work and being the only one who knew my secret.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, we would have the open forum. If you have any questions for our guests today, please kindly do so by way of the mike set up over there.” Diana concluded her interview.

A stir started in the audience as they all seemed to wait for someone to open the discussions. Because of the bright lights blocking our view from the stage, we couldn’t make out what was really going on in the audience.

“Um… excuse me. I would like to ask Ms. Lang if she ever encountered any one writing and asking advice about her?” an uncertain voice sounded over the speakers set up on stage.

“That’s a good question, so what can you say to that Ms. Lang?” Diana turned to me, clearly interested in this turn of events.

“To tell you the truth, someone did, although I didn’t realize it was me he was talking about until it’s too late. He found out about me and got mad. I don’t know if we’ll ever talk again.” I said a little wistfully.

“Does this mean you feel the same way about this guy?” the disembodied voice followed it up a little excitedly.

“Yes. It took me awhile to admit it to myself. But as I said before, I don’t know if I’ll ever see him or talk to him again since I’ll be leaving in the middle of next week for New York.” I informed them and caught the look of surprise on Diana’s face.

“But if he talked to you, would you give him a chance?” it insisted.

“Why not? But I have to wonder why you seem so interested in my answer. I can’t promise anything since I haven’t seen him since that day. The only thing I can say right now is that I’m sorry if I hurt him. He doesn’t need to explain anything to me anymore since before I realized he was talking about me, he already explained his situation to Love Guru, and for me, that’s enough.” I smiled a little sadly. The show is winding and so would my life here as the time trickle down to the day I depart.

“What if he proposes to you?” a collective gasp arose from the crowd and I could tell they all turned to the speaker as one. Being the focus of the light, I couldn’t see very well, but it seemed to be Mary Beth from the way it was silhouetted. I mentally shook myself and told myself it was only coincidence.

“The question is whether he still feels the same about me enough to propose, this time, without the façade of my alter ego hanging between us.” I couldn’t help but be a little melodramatic because it was a hope I nurtured in my heart.

“Then in that case…” the voice trailed off and then there’s a little shuffling as if the microphone was handed to someone else.

“Julia Lang, or Love Guru, or whoever you might be and might become, would you be my girlfriend?”

The crowd was stunned and so was I. Cameras swung to focus on the speaker as lights zoomed in to illuminate him. As my eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness, my hand flew to my mouth in shock and my silent gasp carried through from the mic attatched to my blouse. In the limelight was my gang and they all looked smug and happy, but my eyes sought only the lovely browns I had missed sorely.

His gaze locked with mine, the twinkle back in his eyes, his lips in a triumphant yet hopeful smile. When I didn’t answer right away, he took hold of the mic. Still with his eyes on mine, he asked me again, “So what would it be? Will you be my girlfriend?”

My hand still covering my mouth, I whispered yes as tears began to fill up my eyes and the crowd let out cheers, of course the loudest of them all was my gang nearly dancing in glee behind him.

She fought for control as she felt his hostility clear through the phone. He’s still mad at me, her mind screamed at her. She clutched the phone a little more tightly and forced the words out that had gotten stuck somewhere between her heart and her throat. “I’m sorry.” With that simple sentence, everything she had felt for the past few days since they went their separate ways came out in a torrent of tears and heart-wrenching words. When no words had been left unsaid, she settled down on her bed, drained.

Quiet reigned on the other end of the phone and she felt her hopes slipped away. Sweat poured down the side of her face and she felt that her hand had began to moist, but she dared not move for fear that she might miss anything.

“Are you done?” he asked quietly.

“Hmm.” Was the only thing she could muster. Her heart had jumped into her throat as her body turned rigid at the sound of his voice.

“Then I guess it’s my turn.” He talked and she listened and they talked some more.

The night air had begun to cool down and the moon had passed its summit. The hands of the clock had run past two and they finally said good bye.

Her heart lighter than it had ever felt in weeks, she held the phone much more gently, her voice losing the tears. And just before she hanged up, she heard it quietly whispered in the dark.

“I love you.”

Epilogue

I clicked saved and pushed myself away from the terminal. I got up and started to stretch when the phone beside me rang. I grabbed it without preamble and cheerfully greeted the caller.

“Well, what are you still doing there? I thought I told you that you have to be here at eleven, it’s ten-thirty already.” Marie, my publicist, started harping over the phone.

“Relax Rie, I’ll get there on time. I’m on my way out already.” I told her soothingly. Ever since my interview about a month ago, my supposedly vacation spent with family over the holidays had turned into an endless schedule of interviews and book signings.

After hanging up, I went to my closet and grabbed a jacket and mittens. The weather had turned a little nasty the past few days and I’m not planning on taking any chances of getting a cold with my hectic lifestyle. Grabbing my bag and keys from the bed, I left her room and said goodbye to my mother who had been preparing lunch in the kitchen.

I opened the door out of the building and felt the cold wind rushed to meet me. With my back to the wind, I struggled with the door and finally got it locked when a voice suddenly made its way to my ear. Whipping around, I found myself facing Zack.

He smiled and trudged around the snow and waited for me below the short flight of steps. He looked as good as ever, the same way I had left him back in Manila. He was wearing a fur-lined black parka to ward of the cold and his hands had been buried in his pockets.

I looked at him warily, unsure if this is a dream or reality. I had dreamed of him being here with me that to have him actually be there wasn’t something I expected.

“Are you planning to stand there out here in the cold all day or are we going to go to your book signing?” he asked jokingly, his eyes having that same twinkle that brought me back on the day we met.

“Oh right.” I shook my head and smiled at him. I went down the stairs and grasped hold of his offered hand. Together, we crossed the street, heading towards the bookstore a couple of blocks away.

well, if anyone feels like doing some editing... feel free to join www.groups.yahoo.com/group/fiction_eb where I've been uploading this chapter by chapter.^^

Can I Trust My Heart with You

2005-07-07T16:29:00.000+08:00

Can I trust my heart with you?

Can you promise not to break it in two?

Can I risk getting hurt by you again?

Can I believe this is for real then?

You lied to me once before

That I can’t be entirely sure

If I open my heart to you again

Would you make me happy in anyway you can?

No one really knows

It’s something I can’t show

The love I still have for you

And how I always remained true.

It’s clear to me now

Despite my doubts

This is where I belong

The reason I held on

The time for words is over

My fears shall need to look for cover

Because I’m trusting my heart with you

Just please don’t break it in two.

Info Galore!!!

2005-07-07T16:15:00.000+08:00

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Jennifer Metra
Birthday:	January 7, 1985
Birthplace:	Manila
Current Location:	Pasay City
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Dark brown
Height:	5'4"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right handed
Your Heritage:	Chinese/Japanese
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Black step-ins
Your Weakness:	Sweet romantic scenes/moments/acts
Your Fears:	Getting in trouble
Your Perfect Pizza:	Cheese, like PH's Ultimate Cheese or YC's Cheese No.5
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Graduate
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	Yo!
Thoughts First Waking Up:	What am i suppose to do today
Your Best Physical Feature:	Height?
Your Bedtime:	10pm - 11pm
Your Most Missed Memory:	Um... Tagaytay with Friends?^^
Pepsi or Coke:	Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Burger King
Single or Group Dates:	Um... don't know... haven't done any dating
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	neither
Do you Smoke:	Nope
Do you Swear:	Sometimes... a little...
Do you Sing:	Of course, i do write some songs
Do you Shower Daily:	Of course, it's too hot not to
Have you Been in Love:	Yes
Do you want to go to College:	I'm already on my last term in college
Do you want to get Married:	Definitely in my plans somewhere in the future
Do you belive in yourself:	I learned to ^^
Do you get Motion Sickness:	When I'm on a bus for a long period
Do you think you are Attractive:	I guess... not that attractive... slightly attractive^^
Are you a Health Freak:	Not really...
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yeah, I guess
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Well, not really, but the cool weather is a welcome change
Do you play an Instrument:	Not really, but i do know piano and flute
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Nope, not a drinker
In the past month have you Smoked:	Nope, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No, I wouldn't be able to finish one box alone
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No, but I'm craving for salmon sushi
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Stage? Nah... unless you consider doing impromptu speech in class as being onstage...
In the past month have you been Dumped:	How could I be dumped when I don't have anyone to be cozy with?
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	NO!!!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	No
Ever been Drunk:	Nope.
Ever been called a Tease:	Er... I don't know, nobody mentioned anything to my face...
Ever been Beaten up:	Nope, unless you consider being accidentally hit by people, then yeah...
Ever Shoplifted:	Nope.
How do you want to Die:	In my sleep... a virtually painless death
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I don't know... but being an artist is one of them
What country would you most like to Visit:	Japan, the whole of Europe... can i just say the whole world?
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Blue eyes are so cute^^
Favourite Hair Color:	Blond or brown, I find naturally blond guys cute^^
Short or Long Hair:	Short
Height:	Definitely taller.
Weight:	Um... as long as he's not overweight?^^
Best Clothing Style:	Looks good and comfy in them
Number of Drugs I have taken:	ZERO
Number of CDs I own:	Um... a lot, from anime, vcds, dvds, audio, and data discs...
Number of Piercings:	Two, just on the ears for me, but if you're still talking about in a Boy, then no piercings would be preferable
Number of Tattoos:	NONE
*Number of things in my Past I Regret:*
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Post niyo din info niyo^^

QUIZZES!!!

2005-07-07T14:57:00.000+08:00

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	delicious
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	refreshing
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	unique

Quiz created with MemeGen!

There is Still Hope

2005-05-15T20:56:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes, I quoted Arwen again....... I lost control and mailed HIM..... And then, tadadadada.... he mailed back.... When I was on the beach last Saturday, I sat on the sand while watching the stars. I said to myself that if he didn't reply, I'll just cut off the last single connection I had on him... I didn't expect to read his message when I checked my inbox.... so there really is hope.....

2005-05-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

I've been a bit crazy lately... Can you imagine a week of relaxation bombarded by MTV? Yeah, MTV. Especially the musci video wherein you can see the delectable Rob Thomas shaking his bum...That's too much distraction already... (Thanks to the Higher Power who made Rob Thomas' arse...)
Speaking about the most sexiest bums in the music and movie industry, here are some of the examples extracted from the male specie:
1. Rob Thomas --- see his latest video and you will testify to my claim
2. Ricky Martin --- All I can say is " shake your bonbon shake your bonbon shake your bonbon.."
3. Kevin Bacon --- Uhm... just watch Wild Things and decide WHICH PART is sexier...
4. Brad Pitt --- If it weren't for the fact that I was watching Troy with my dad, I would've shouted "Long live Achilles!" No one would ever claim the right to be called a demigod if he doesn't have Brad Pitt's butt. Thanks to the Greeks!
5. Enrique Iglesias --- my personal favorite as he is the epitome of Latin sex appeal... What can I say? He, or his butt, takes my breath away...

Let's go back to the reason why I thought this topic. I have been hearing Lonely No More quite a few times every day so I developed an LSS to it.

I assure Mr. Rob Thomas he will not be "lonely no more", as long as he shakes his bum to this direction.... hehehe

The Aftermath of Homemade Chai Latte

2005-05-02T09:09:00.000+08:00

In a few months, I will be bading my teenage years goodbye. I will be turning 20 in October.

I don't know what happened to my life during the past seven years, since I turned thirteen. I didn't expect my teenage life would be this....... dull, boring.

Well, I imagined my teenage years would be fun. I would have a boyfriend or boyfriends, have a BFF (barkada for life) thing, go to wild parties, just like those silly teenage shows I got engrossed with during my pre-teen stage. I should blame those shows, you know....

Okay, so my life wasn't exactly that boring. I had a lovelife.... wherein, I wailed non-stop... I had that typical teenage angst (actually it wasn't the usual teenage turmoil... mine was up a notch), and I got over boybands, sappy love songs, even more sappy lines from the craziest of guys.... I cried an ocean, blamed the "Higher Power" for all the injustice I received. And, this was only during my high school years.

My year as a college freshman wasn't also dull. I met the guy who took my breath away... I mean, I think (until now) that he is THE ONE, as in the Aragorn in my Arwen fantasies..... or at least, I thought he WAS the one... It was just so perfect, just like I planned in my mind. Start college with a clean slate, meet a few guys and eventually, meet THE guy. Our zodiac signs, Western and Chinese, matched. He looks yummy (eewww.... can't believe I thought that) nope, more like, " 'Where the hell have you been? Come take me away on your white stallion, gallant knight.' and off we go into the sunset" kind of guy... From the moment he looked at me with those piercing eyes, I thought " Oh s#!+, I'm in trouble... big trouble.." It must have been Fate, it must have been. I mean, if I hadn't skipped the first day of my department's orientation, I wouldn't have met him! Or if my best friend wasn't his schoolmate, I wouldn't have known him better (thanks Peach for the additional info. I feel like I was stalking him...) I mean, it should be Fate, since I bump into him everytime I hear my favorite song on the radio (mind you, the lyrics went "it was love at first sight...") Or hitting my forehead on the post after I bumped into him... The pronounciation of the first syllables of our names (my true name and his nickname) even are the same... (Shhh you guys...) But then again, Fate is cruel indeed. I transferred schools since I shifted, and he is whisked away thousands of miles away... He, I realized, is a total ass (forgive my lingo) when it comes to replying any message I sent him (actually, he emailed me first.... realizing I was no use because I wasn't in the same university anymore, he reckoned replying to me was redundant) I hate myself for still believing Arwen's lines "There is still hope.."

Zooming in after I shifted, I got a bit more depressed. I was out of place in classes. I had acquaintances with people who were really older than me. I was also feeling out of place whenever I get to meet up with my former blockmates but still close friends (it's no one's fault, you guys... just pouring out my insecurities). I realized I WAS AND STILL AM out of place. I never get to belong to a certain category or group (if I DO belong to a group, that's the crazy for HP group). I just stick out like a sore pinky (not thumb, okay? just sticking out a bit..) I walked the halls of my recent school like a zombie. I wanted to just slump in one corner and wail like a mad banshee, but I, a great actor, have to put up a brave front. I will not crumble...

So that might be the reasons why I got hooked to this HP business.... The wizarding world had a lot to offer. In that world (with my computer logged on to the Net), I got to play Quidditch in the Gryffindor team. I , together with the trio, got into fights with Malfoy. I get to be kilig after HP & GW hook up.. and also RW & HG... I got to battle Death Eaters and Dementors. I got to be in the final battle wherein, HP defeated Lord Moldy-shorts and saved the wizarding world from a terrible fate.... Got to cry when Dumbledore scarificed himself for the greater good... Got into a relationship with George Weasley.... Okay, enough!!! This is my life now, unfortunately.... Welcome to the latter part of my teenage years, wherein I'm just glued to the computer screen and enter the magical world.... I hate to admit but this is really pathetic... Now, in this part of my teenage life, I say this wasn't the plan I had at all......

There's on thing I didn't plan and thankfully didn't happen, and that's losing my virtue (I'm getting old-fashioned here.... that means virginity to those who are too thick to understand). Well, I did not have a belief during the beginning, but now, I'm going to share my philosophy on sex. I believe that sex is a sacred act between two individuals who truly truly love and respect each other. If wedding is a sacred ritual in the eyes of society and the Church (whatever church it is), then sex is the sacred ritual between the couple AFTER their oath under the eyes of society and the Higher Power. If the wedding ceremony is a union purely "for show", sex is both the physical and spiritual union of two intertwined souls..... Just a piece of my thought....

And now, I will reheat the remaining chai latte in the kettle before I go to sleep. At least now, my anguish had been put into words (tons of words) rather than flowing in the presence of tears that I would have cried in bed.

Fun while it lasted

2005-04-21T19:41:00.000+08:00

Gosh, for the first time in my entire life, I finally spent a night without parents fussing over me!!! Yey!! Quite an achievement, should I say....

After the whole Tagaytay thing, my emotions finally went back to its former shlump... yeah, shlump.... a s#!++y slump = shlump.... I feel like cow dung...

Cedric Diggory!

2005-02-24T14:24:00.000+08:00

Ano say niyo? :)

Fleur!

2005-02-24T14:19:00.000+08:00

Lokky looky! It's Fleur Delacour! pede na ba???

Who can brew the draught of peace for me???

2005-02-19T19:47:00.000+08:00

Waaah!!!! Hectic hectic week for me..... Thank goodness my operating room rotations were canceled for the week.... Nerve-wracking week, it is!!!! first, wednesday, most dreaded day because i have to sit through 3 hours of med-surgical nursing, 2 hours of operating room techniques and 2 boring hours of community health nursing.... and then, this creative case presentation thingy came up and my brain felt like fried eggs, my whole body being whacked by some invisible force... oh look, my legs are giving up, eyes teary and tired... But I feel good.... during our case pres. practice, we had a dinner break before heading home, I will never forget how hard i laughed or felt fulfilled..... Oh well.... life goes on...

Pirates of the Caribbean Sequel!!!

2005-02-14T00:26:00.000+08:00

It's official, the hit Disney film based on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disneyland has a sequel!!! I have just watched it again a while ago...hihi! I won't get tired watching this all over again!!!

From http://movies.go.com/moviesdynamic/movies/movie?id=636398

02/03/05
It's official: This flick's called Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. (Walt Disney Pictures)

02/03/05
Here are some title and plot rumors: Supposedly it'll be called Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest, and the story will focus on the spectral Davey Jones, who is trying to collect on a spiritual debt Jack Sparrow owes him. Unless Sparrow can finagle his way out of the situation, he'll be sailing the ghost ship The Flying Dutchman for all eternity. Again, rumor, but who knows? (Empire Online)

Possible release date daw is 2006...just posting it here to let you guys know (even if I don't know if you would be interested anyway...excited lang po! :)

Hermione Complex

2005-02-04T20:23:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to channel the TV show "Scrubs", because if I don't, I might have a nervous breakdown due to the stress I got myself into.... Although I'm still a bit OC, I think treating stress this way made me lose the "achievement drive", to strive to get the best grades in class, for short, I lost my Hermione complex. As a result, many of my old classies (classmates) noticed my grades are spiraling down. As much as I hat to admit, I'm really losing my touch here.... If I could just tap into my HP obsession to convert it into a bit of Hermione complex.....
I came up with possible reasons why I lost my Hermione complex:
1. I possibly shifted it into "Scrubs" complex.
2. no lovelife = no Hermione complex
3. too much food in my system = decrease in Hermione complex
4. everday maternal nagging and mollycoddling = decrease in Hermione complex
5. too much future thinking = decrease in Hermione complex
6. crying myself to sleep = decrease in Hermione complex

The result: loss of Hermione complex and increase in maternal nagging precipitated by "ano ba? Wala ka na abng ambition in your life?" due to:
MOM: Ano ba talaga ang ambition mo sa buhay?
ME: To be happy. My ambition and long-term goal is a simple life and happiness.
MOM: Naku, patay... Wala ka talagang ambition...

They're all raving mad, really.... Not me....

Sensory Overload

2005-02-04T20:12:00.000+08:00

My mind's reeling with too much info, I think my brain turned into Spongebob Squarepants.... In a Harry Potter-inspired description, med-surgical 1 is like care for magical creatures mixed with transfiguration and potions and herbology, with a professor who's a bit cool like Lupin, but gives horrible grades like Snape.... You see, my world's a bit twisted.
Last year, I had pharmacology, which I dubbed as Potions, with an instructor sickeningly sweet and pudgy like Umbridge but gives exmas and exams in a Snap-like manner. A lot of students wailed, yes wailed not cried, when they saw their grades... Actually, I haven't seen mine... I'm too scared.... Imagine another year with Mrs. Dolores Umbridge Snape!!! I shudder at the thought of that....Yikes!

Midterms

2005-02-02T21:09:00.000+08:00

I have been whacking my head to be able to memorize tonss of stuff pertaining cardiovascular, respiratory and blood diseases, their medical management, plus anatomy of the concerned body parts.... Aaarghhh...... Needing a restorative potion asap.... my brain's like jell-o already...

Bad eirha! banging my head on the wall with dobby-like vigor

2005-01-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

My preciousssssssss......... wala lang.... bruha lang talaga ako....

YO!

2005-01-29T13:25:00.000+08:00

I'm alive and kicking everyone... just too lazy to go write something on blogs, not too mention the fact i wasn't allowed to be in front of a computer for awhile.... and now, i've got a huge backlog of activities i need to do...

my, i didn't realize prince harry's in our age group...

oh conservatives.... what do they know about real life... they're too busy saying what's right and what's not that they don't rea;ize that we're moving to the modern era of life... and too much symbolisms.... way, way, way too much emphasis on symbols...

ja ne

AMBITIOUSLY PURSUING YOUR OWN SELF-DIRECTION by Jim Rohn

2005-01-27T10:33:00.000+08:00

What is the origin of true ambition? There exists really only one place to find true ambition and that is within you – in every thought, in every movement, in every motivation. Your ambition is an _expression of who you truly are, your own self-_expression.
Self-_expression. Isn't self-_expression really self-direction? How you think, how you move, how you motivate yourself. Ambition is a result of self-direction and self-direction is one of the six key principles necessary for building ambition. Positive self-direction says, "I know who I am and I know where I want to go. I'm accumulating knowledge and experiences and feelings and philosophies that will help prepare me for opportunities that I know will show up without notice or any help on my part." Because you know where you want to go, you have already been working on the parts of your personality that will make you better. Working on your attitude, working on your health, working on your time management skills. Putting it all down on paper. And you constantly see yourself in the place you want to be, going in the direction you want to go.

Direction determines destination. So here is a question you must ask yourself, "Are all the disciplines that I'm currently engaged in taking me where I want to go?" What an important question to ask yourself at the beginning of the month, the beginning of the week, the beginning of the day. Because here is what you don't ever want to do - kid yourself. Kid your neighbor, kid me and kid the marketplace, but don't kid yourself - fingers crossed - hoping you will arrive at a good destination when you're not even headed that way. You have to ask yourself often, AM I? Am I doing the disciplines that are taking me in the direction I want to go? Don't neglect to ask these important questions, questions that help determine your direction, the set of your sail, your destination.

Is this the direction I want for my life?
Is this someone else's direction?
Is this a goal I have been ingrained with since my childhood?
Is this goal my parent's, my spouse's, my boss', my children's or is it MINE?

Ask yourself these questions and then debate them. After you have answered these questions within yourself, then take it one step further and ask, "What am I doing that is working or not working?" Debate it all. Work with your mind to figure out the best possible direction for you - your self-direction. And then ambitiously pursue your own self-direction. Let the power of your own ambition take you where you want to go, to do what you want to do, to create the life you want to live!

Whoa!!!!

2005-01-27T10:04:00.000+08:00

Grabe grabe grabe.... Ngaka-crush nga ako pero kahawig naman nya.... Aaaaaaaaa!!!!! What will I do? What will I do????

Weeeeeee!!!!!!

2005-01-25T14:28:00.001+08:00

Baliw na naman ako!!! :)

Weeeeeee!!!!!!

2005-01-25T14:28:00.000+08:00

Baliw na naman ako!!! :)

Script of GOF First task

2005-01-25T14:24:00.000+08:00

http://www.pinoyharrypotter.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=1697

Punta na lang kayo dito para makita niyo...:) Hindi ko kasi ma-copy and paste ng maayos...:)

Greetings!

2005-01-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hello again! Eirha! Gagawin mo ba talaga akong maid of honor kahit di ka diagnosed with schizophrenia? LOLS...:)

Para kay Jen na di naman dumadaan dito (siya naman gumawa nito)...GET WELL SOON! Hehe!

Para kay Yoles, good luck sa retreat natin bukas! Sana matino pa tayo pagbalik natin...lols!

2005-01-16T17:51:00.000+08:00

Malapit na!!!! Yehey!!!

Jen Talaga!!!!

2005-01-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

Oi Jen!!!! Hindi pa ikakasal si William!!! Hindi pa ako ready for married life.... I can't be married to him this soon! I mean, bata pa kami... Just give us a few years more. Hindi pa kami nakaka-experience ng "real world out there", and he still wants to live a normal life, away from prying eyes... And I want to work a few years after graduating college... But i promise you, you guys will be invited to our wedding. Peachy, ikaw nga pala ang gusto kong maid of honor....

WARNING: THE ONE WHO WROTE THIS SUFFERS FROM DELUSIONS. SHE IS A SCHIZOPHRENIC AND IS CURRENTLY CONFINED IN ST. MUNGO'S

Chika to!!!!

2005-01-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

Prince Harry May Visit Auschwitz

Fri Jan 14, 4:34 PM ET Entertainment - AP Gossip/Celebrity

By ROBERT BARR, Associated Press Writer

LONDON - Prince Harry is considering invitations from Jewish groups to visit the Auschwitz death camp, a royal spokeswoman said Friday, while Britons debated whether his wearing a swastika armband at a costume party has damaged the monarchy.

The invitations "will be given due consideration, but there are no plans at the moment," the spokeswoman said as the controversy over Harry's Nazi costume dominated front pages for a second day.

Some argued that Harry is just an academically undistinguished 20-year-old who is unlikely ever to become king, and who has a right to a private life.

But the modern monarchy's power is all in symbolism, and Harry's detractors say he needs to be better attuned to the power of images.

"A chap at that age is not bad, they just don't think," said Dame Vera Lynn, famed singer of "We'll Meet Again" and herself a living symbol of Britain's struggle against Nazi Germany in World War II.

Charles' office stressed that Harry would not attend ceremonies on Jan. 27 commemorating the liberation of the Auschwitz-Birkenau complex, although the Simon Wiesenthal Center had urged him to do so. Foreign Secretary Jack Straw is to head the British delegation to the event.

A former royal spokesman said it was likely that Harry would eventually make a pilgrimage to Auschwitz or some other Holocaust site.

"The likelihood is that both William and Harry could visit a concentration camp in the not too distant future," Dickie Arbiter said on NBC's "Today" show.

Friday's papers brought more caustic remarks about Harry's intelligence and sensitivity — "Prince Harry seems less interested in preparing for a life of royal service than auditioning for the role of village idiot," The Guardian said.

But some commentators, pleading that the prince was just trying to live a normal life, contended the fuss was overblown.

"I want someone to stand up for him and say he is a very good man, and I'm that person," Sarah Ferguson, the duchess of York, told British Broadcasting Corp. radio. "Because I know what it is like to have a very bad press and to be continually criticized. It is very tiring and it is very unpleasant."

The duchess, who is divorced from Prince Andrew, was frequently criticized in the media for her dress sense and her battles with her weight, and she was famously photographed cavorting topless with an American lover.

"Your 20s are the time to do stupid things and get them out of your system," Aaron Barschak, the self-styled "comedy terrorist" who dressed up as Osama bin Laden (news - web sites) and gatecrashed Prince William's 21st birthday party, wrote in The Guardian newspaper.

If that's the case, columnist Tom Utley wrote in The Daily Telegraph, "we are talking about stupidity on an absolutely monumental scale."

"Some will contend that none of this is of consequence," The Times said in an editorial. "But a constitutional monarchy is above all else about, and justified by, symbolism. Prince Harry could not have engaged in any worse symbolism than with the swastika. "

Harry stands behind his father and his brother, Prince William, in the line of succession, but King George VI, the present queen's father, was among second sons who succeeded to the British throne.

The picture was snapped by a guest at a costume party on Saturday, and apparently sold to The Sun.

Prince William reportedly was costumed as a leopard and lion for the "native and colonial" theme party at the home of Richard Meade, who won three gold medals in equestrian events at the 1968 and 1972 Olympics.

Harry, who plans to enroll this year at a military college, has long been known as the wilder of Charles and Princess Diana's two handsome sons.

Support for the monarchy has declined during the reign of Queen Elizabeth II (news - web sites). Although she is rarely faulted, the institution has been shaken by affairs of the heart — her late sister Margaret's unsuitable romance with a divorcee, then the divorces of three of her four children.

Daily Mail columnist Stephen Glover said Harry's armband had boosted the cause of republicans who wish to abolish the monarchy.

"My sense is that even defenders of monarchy among the once loyal British middle class are finding it increasingly difficult to support the institution," Glover wrote.

Opinion polls show that about 55 percent of the public believe the country would be worse off without a monarchy.

Although Prime Minister Tony Blair (news - web sites) railed against inherited privilege when he backed legislation to expel all but 100 hereditary peers from the House of Lords five years ago, he still hasn't settled on a permanent replacement.

Britain had its fling at overthrowing the monarchy in 1649, but brought it back in 1660

A Tonks Mishap

2005-01-15T22:25:00.000+08:00

Okay... So, I am dead clumsy... Just fell down the stairs this morning, caught some froggies for zoology.... My elbow hurt, my humungous butt definitely got bigger (medyo namaga), my whole body hurt like hell. I feel like I had been bludgered to death by the Weasley twins... Now, while typing this new post, I reek of ointment, reminiscent of white flower.... I hate myself.... Peach, remember nung nauntog ako sa post sa may marain quadrangle dahil nakasalubong natin si You-Know-Who??? or yung natapilok ako kahit flats ang suot ko??? Parang ganun yung nangyari, a proof of my incessant clumsiness... Oi, ouch.... sakit ng pwet ko....

Do I Smell Burning Hair???

2005-01-10T16:41:00.000+08:00

I'm a disaster waiting to happen.... In an attempt to make my monster hair behave, I just burned some of my hair while blowdrying it this morning...... Pretty stupid of me, I guess......

Meeting the Living Professor Umbridge

2005-01-07T21:26:00.000+08:00

Guys, I have encountered a living Professor Umbridge!!!! For details, just go to my blog.... Mwahahahaha!!!!!

Happy Birthday Jen!!!!

2005-01-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday! Happy happy joy joy!!!! Tirahan niyo na lang ako ng cake a!

YEY!!!!!!!!!

2005-01-02T11:29:00.000+08:00

lalala........

Happy New Year!

2005-01-02T01:59:00.000+08:00

Nahihirapan ako dati sa blogger.com kaya di ako nakakapagpost...ngayon lang! Neway share ko na lang tong pic na to...mga minamahal kong sina Cha-Cha, Shiine at Riiya!!!! :)

Cya guys sa pasukan (ayoko nga lang pumasok!)!!!

unrequited love (miss sangil's post)

2004-12-29T10:07:00.000+08:00

"If I were a movie, I'd swear the almighty director-producer would give me the part of the poor soul that suffers the pain of unrequited love, the tormented individual pining away for what was lost, someone who tries to smile while being tortured by the pangs of heartbreak and despair. It's a terrible role but someone just has to play it."It's as if Karen Kunawicz can actually read my mind (or should I write, OUR minds?). Her essay "The Night the Stars Went Out" (from On the Verge, 1999) is an essay I find myself rereading the past few weeks. She mentions Ducky Dale, that geek of a best friend to Molly Ringwald's character in Pretty in Pink. What a tragic character---falling in love with your best friend who is in love and actually ends up with somebody else (preppy Andrew McCarthy's role). For the teens out there who must have missed this classic 80s flick, think Julia's character in My Best Friend's Wedding, minus her Machiavellian machinations in getting the guy, of course. But it is a variation of the same theme. It's not even a triangle. It's a perfect circle, with two halves meeting to form a whole round while you, yes you, are that line that tries to divide the perfect shape. Perhaps even a broken line, you are.Ah, the agony and the ecstasy of unrequited love. I once heard someone say that unrequited love is the best kind because it never has to end. Control lies in your hands. To continue or not to continue pursuing the futile quest is up to you. It's also the best because the feeling is yours without you ever asking nor demanding for it to be returned by the beloved.I have, to my great amazement, opened up a can of worms when I discussed Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 in my classes. For some weird reason our discussion touched on the idea of unrequited love which was actually nowhere near the Bard's sonnet which actually speaks of love's constancy ("Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds or bends with the remover to remove. Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. . . "). We have, since then discussed several other poems but the students are still reeling from the aftershock. My lovesick wards are still debating on the nature of love and whether they agree or disagree with their Professor as to unrequited love being the best kind. And now we have Neruda attempting to write the saddest lines. Will we see an end to this? Perhaps. Perhaps not.A student named Cloudine has this to say in our mailing list:"I just want to share my thoughts on what ms. Sangil said that unrequited love is the best kind of love. Honestly, at first, I couldn't quite believe it. I mean, for me, it's the most pathetic kind, so how can this bitter and cruel kind of love be the best? Here, all you do is love, love, and love that special person only to get hurt in return. You become the most obsessed and pathetic person, you try to give him your everything again and again despite the constant rejection… So how can it be the best? And I began to ponder… And I realized that it actually could be. Maybe what makes it best is the act itself of loving a person purely knowing that you might get nothing in return, of continuously loving a person no matter how he/she puts you down. To love someone despite looking like a fool and feeling more pain than happiness or kilig is really to be considered a great thing, don't you think?"And yet another student named Natassia posted this online which made me pause and actually lifted my tired spirit up in the air all week last week. Apparently she got this via email as well (truly, the ether's magic to spread both wisdom and madness never fails to astound me):1) There is nothing wrong with unrequited love. It happens all the time. I won't delude you into thinking that if he can't love you back he is not worth it. In fact, believe that he is. He is worth it all: the headaches, the anxiety, the embarrassment, etc. He is worth it because, like you, he needs others loving him. This sounds funny but the world is round for a reason. We are all part of a circle. If you love him and he loves someone else, just think of whom you're hurting by loving him. It's a cycle. Whose love are you not returning?2)At the end of the day, when all is said and done, loving without being loved back is the best thing to do because feeling so much pain, I learn to heal; knowing so much fear, I learn to stand up to anything, carrying so much sadness, I learn to glorify in joy. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we're always learning, discovering and growing.Again, such wisdom. And what madness as well. But hey, "in this mad world, only the mad are sane" (from the Japanese film Ran directed by Akira Kurosawa which coincidentally was based on Shakespeare's King Lear). So go ahead you hopeless romantics. Be mad. Revel in the madness. Relish it. Better to be mad than wise, methinks. What does the wise man say? That only fools rush in. Do you see me staying put?

something about love

2004-12-02T13:24:00.000+08:00

Wise men say that love reveals itself in many ways. And at all times: in and under and above and beyond all words, and by and in spite of all actions. For love, like the fragnance of a hidden flower, reveals itself in many strange and mysterious ways, and it's absence is just as keenly felt. And the only love that lasts is one that is borne of a desire to give; but also (when the need arises) the strength to withold one's self; or, to abandon one's self. We do not greatly love when we are not willing to give it all. But when we give it all - for our own delight only - then it is only ourselves that we love.

People speak of friendship as though it were a bond: different from love. Yet, friendship is love. For without love, there is no friendship. Although, there may be a congeniality of taste. But friendship is really nothing more than another term for love: that asks for nothing, that is ready to give it all. It is love in the truest sense of the word: a love without desire, jealousy, and hate: a love that can readily forgive all...including human frailties, weaknesses and defects, because such a love is borne out of the virtues that guide human affairs and relationships...

Aloha!

2004-11-25T11:02:00.000+08:00

Yihaaa!!! Cge ano ba gawin natin dito??? Kahit ano puede ha??? Hehe! :)

Welcome!!!

2004-11-25T10:33:00.000+08:00

Hulo, Hulo, Hulo....

Welcome to the realm of five girls bonded by friendship and here to share thoughts to any humble reader....

ciao